Wrap Up To Be The Ideal Christmas Gift?
Why not send former Kingston-resident Love Doctor Monti, the author of Journey To Find The Perfect Partner Forever, your relationship queries? Use our form to submit your question or send an email.
Question:
I’m getting the wrong sort of attention in the dancehalls, and my friends reckon it’s because I show too much flesh.
I’ve been single for almost three years and would love to find a good guy in time for Christmas. Please help me.
M, Negril
Love Doctor’s Answer:
Being scantily-clad will naturally garner attention from men, whether they are potential suitors or not, because men are visual creatures. Your friends are spot on about your lack of attire at dancehalls.
Without being completely naked, the more flesh that’s shown then the more excited men should become. Most men love seeing ladies in swimwear more than anything else, so if you are determined to show off your body then start spending weekends on the beach.
Those ladies who choose to sport clothing that leaves very little to the imagination are going to attract every type of man. That’s okay if you are the desperate type, and having been single for virtually three years it sounds like you are.
Should you be seeking someone for a loving relationship, rather than a possible sex-starved man that was drawn towards you by your show of flesh, you should urgently revisit your choice of outfits at dancehalls.
In life we generally dress to impress and for the feelgood factor. Yet it sounds like you are dressing to try and ensnare a man, but are unable to source someone you really like because of your look.
You must reassess your clothing for dancehalls, and indeed going out, if you want some positive results. Dress appropriately for the occasion, we all do (wearing our best smart clothes for church, job interviews, funerals, weddings etc). You don’t need to alter your own unique style, just you need to compromise on how you are presenting yourself.
My advice is to think about your entire wardrobe rather than your dancehall outfits, and start dressing appropriately to find the sort of man that you ultimately desire. It’s time to give your wardrobe a complete makeover by ditching any clothes that are bash or too revealing.
You should focus on what suits you and which colours make you look more attractive. You don’t want a cheap look about you, because that’s going to give off the wrong impressions to men.
There are some tips ‘n’ tricks to meet guys although I suggest that you pick out five male celebrities that you find devilishly attractive, then look at online photos of them with their partner. Note the clothing that their girlfriend/wife sports, no doubt it will be smart casual or super smart.
That celebrity remains attracted to his partner, and she dresses in a grown-up way to maintain his attention. This is the type of look that you should contemplate to try and meet a suitable man. Men like women who take good care of the way they look, which is partly due to the fact that these ladies tend to look their best most of the time and partly because they are highly likely to be caring overall.
Look at the accessories of the celebrity’s other half when you scan these pictures, and see what you like. Bags, jewellery and shoes are what women love. Any of these that you own should reflect your personality and style, not look cheap because otherwise you’ll attract unwanted attention from men who could consider you easy.
Your make-up and choice of perfume are also significant factors, because men will be shallow and judge you on these two aspects. Ask any of your girlfriends who have great make-up skills to teach you these. Invest in some higher end products, because they will make you feel a million dollars if you’re currently wearing low-end make-up. Again, look at the partners of those celebrities you like and see how their overall make-up looks. You can easily begin to emulate any of these ladies if you wish to.
It’s more than looking good, you need to smell great too. Pick a signature scent for daytime and evenings out, but ensure that it is not remotely similar to those as your friends. Choose a subtle one for daytime, especially if you work with people. An evening scent should be sensual to attract men and heighten their senses, which means you should ideally opt for citrus, patchouli or sandalwood.
Body language, especially confident body language, will set you apart from anyone who’s desperate to find anyone rather than that special someone. Look in the mirror and practice smiling with your eyes, because when a man catches your eye you can utilise this form of flirting.
Be yourself, but be the best version of yourself to try and meet the perfect partner forever. It’s time for a change of scenery because you’re clearly having no luck meeting your Prince Charming at the current dancehalls.
Explore visits to other dancehalls, and by repackaging yourself should be oozing with confidence. You could then become the ideal Christmas gift for the seemingly elusive special someone.
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