Should I Give Up Seeking The Perfect Partner?

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Question:

I’ve been looking for the epitome of perfection for over two years, but the women I meet just don’t live up to my expectations.

Am I just being unrealistic and need to lower my standards to meet my ideal lady?

F, Mandeville

Love Doctor’s Answer:

You sound as though you are being very particular, and potentially shallow, in your search to find a lady that ticks all of the boxes.

You’re a visual creature as a man, so probably being shallow when it comes to unearthing a potential girlfriend. You cannot always judge a book by its cover.

I’m not suggesting that you approach ladies that you find unappealing, because that would be a waste of time for both of you.

For some it can be love at first sight, or even second sight. This doesn’t occur for everyone, but if you’re fortunate enough to have previously fallen for someone immediately then it can be repeated.

There can be the chemistry and sparks flying when speaking to someone. Yet it sounds like you are simply eyeing ladies up and being dismissive of them from their looks only.

I urge you to start talking to women, which will boost your flirting skills, make you more sociable and stop being a wallflower in a room that will be off-putting for many ladies.

You may be unrealistic when it comes to what you are seeking, and you are probably limiting yourself to where you meet these ladies in Mandeville. If that’s the case then this is only a small pond that you are looking in.

FLIRTING IS YOUR FUTURE
Expanding your search is crucial for success. You could visit Long Bay Beach and Treasure Beach at weekends, when you should be equipped with some ideal opening lines when meeting someone new.

A useful opener, which is direct and shows confidence, is: “I know that I will be kicking myself all day if I didn’t come along and introduce myself to you.”

Then smile, reveal you name and put your hand out to shake hands. You will most likely get a smile back and have achieved the first physical contact.

When it comes to romancing you can always try some of my recommended chat up lines to break the ice, because speaking to a lady and flirting is much better than just sitting back and looking at them.

SURRENDER TO REALITY
As you’re wrapped up in only finding perfection, I urge you to compile a list of 10 things that you seek about your ideal lady. Hopefully you will include characteristics and not just focus on appearance, otherwise that will be shallow.

As you state that no one seems to measure up to your high expectations, maybe these are too high and not viable.

Study your list and ask a couple of close friend if these are attainable, because if they aren’t then you’ll forever waste your time and end up disappointed.

It’s time to take a reality check because if what you’re trying to find in a woman is not viable then you’ll forever end up exasperated and frustrated.

WORK OUT YOUR VALUE
You should also write a list of five things that you can offer a new girlfriend, and this doesn’t have to be about finance. Work out your value because this needs to align with your potential new partner.

I suggest that you also check your appearance, and maybe up the ante to be able to present the very best version of you to suitable single ladies. If you like the style of a certain celebrity, then do some website surfing to emulate their look but on a reduced budget.

There’s no need to splash the cash, as once you’re in a romance your new love interest is highly likely to start moulding you into her perfect partner.

DRESS UP FOR DATING
It’s advisable to check out my guide on how to dress for dating success, which helps show respect towards any women you date. It’s imperative to cut your cloth accordingly to avoid looking old on your dates.

It’s not a question of lowering your standards, it is about being pragmatic and extending your search away from a small city. Over the past two years you’ll have seen the same faces and not been able to get a connection with them.

So start approaching ladies to sharpen up your flirting skills and read my guide on how to meet single women to make it smooth sailing for your potential romance.

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