Dear Love Doctor

How Do I Stop Looking Old On Dates? Please Help Me Love Doctor

Why not send former Kingston-resident Love Doctor your relationship queries? Use the form to submit your question(s).

Question:

I am getting concerned because after one or two dates the woman makes her excuses. I’m back on the singles scene after over a decade and am middle-aged. What can I do to improve my chances because I think I’m looking a bit old in the tooth?
 
Javel, Brown’s Town, St. Ann

Love Doctor’s Answer:

Love Doctor MontiEmbrace your dates, and if the ladies drift away then it is their loss. Being back on the dating scene can be daunting, so practice makes perfect and you can learn from your mistakes.
 
Initially you need to consider exactly why these dating experiences are so short-lived. There are so many reasons why they haven’t worked out, so don’t beat yourself up about looking old.
 
Today’s world is full of ladies making the very best of themselves, whether it is with a filter on their dating profile or botox fillers to hide any wrinkles.
 
You will be delighted to learn that one of the factors that the majority of ladies find attractive is a man who shows his age with panache.
 
So my advice is to aim for a classy look and persona, both on dates and away from romance. By that I mean steer clear of bling, bright clothes and designer labels, instead aim for a classic look and stick to plain clothing with different shades of blue, black and grey mixed with some classic white attire.
 
Do dress your age, not try to be over trendy to try to emulate those who are around half of your age. Get a haircut that is age suited. And even ensure that you opt for grooming products, especially an aftershave, that is marketed at the discerning gentleman.
 
Looking and feeling the part will instil confidence, so follow the basics of having your shoulders back and sporting good manners.
 
When you have a date you should sit back and relax, not lean forward and appear emotionally needy. Be the man and taka charge, most woman will admire that and feel safe with you – another attractive trait to add.
 
With men being visual creatures you should avoid looking at any exposed flesh, and concentrate on looking just at her face. Look into her eyes, flash her a smile, pay her some compliments. Remember to only say things that are genuine.
 
If she smells wonderful tell her, women love talking about themselves so try listening for at least 70% of the overall conversation. Try finding a mutual interest, as this is the glue that will keep you together as a couple and can lead to a loving relationship.
 
When she is wearing something that you like on her for goodness sake don’t say “I like your watch/bag/shoes/dress”. Those are inanimate objects. Instead tell her the truth, “That watch/bag/shoes look good on you”.
 
With respect to trying to look younger, I would advise moisturiser is your best bet. So drink plenty of water for at least four days before your dates.
 
There are a couple of tricks to looking younger too. Firstly, don’t press too hard if you get to the kissing stage as gravity takes its toll and will do you no favours. So be gentle and keep your chin up.
 
But a surefire way to look younger for a date, without botox or makeup, is to go for at least a mile-long run around an hour before your date. The reason is that the blood goes straight to head and overall you will end up looking younger for the next few hours.

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