I Still Believe In Love, But Love No Longer Believes In Me

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Love Doctor Monti is academically trained in interpersonal relationships, partnership intimacy and psychologically.

Question:

My latest romance has gone pear-shaped, just like the previous relationships and I’m wondering what is wrong.

We broke up because I’m having to wear a plaster cast for three weeks following my accident, and my now ex-girlfriend hasn’t got the patience for me to heal.

I’ve been dumped by all four girlfriends. The first one dismissed me after I was made redundant. The second ignored me after I broke my leg. The third didn’t wish to know me when Covid-19 came along, and my broken arm has now resulted in a broken heart.

I’ve given up on love for now. Where can I meet a new lady who won’t run away from me when the things aren’t perfect?

M, Spanish Town

Love Doctor’s Answer:

Finding a lady to romance is never particularly difficult, but there is an art to finding a good woman for a lasting relationship.

The fact that your latest lady dumped you because of a broken arm is callous. At least you’ve swerved being heavily involved with her as she lacked the commitment to be with you needed her support.

You are the common denominator regarding this quartet of failed relationships and are obviously selecting the wrong type of lady.

I urge you to scrutinise and learn from my guide to what kind of women to avoid for a romance, so that your next romance will not evaporate should you get injured or God forbid unwell.

What you’ve seriously lacked in these four relationships is mutual trust and commitment. You must have seen the red flags, but deliberately ignored them, with all of these ladies before their emotional rejection.

It sounds as though you are not particularly experienced when it comes to romance with just four serious girlfriends. You are sensibly taking your time before getting out there on the dating scene.

When you feel comfortable after this latest setback, attempt to find out whether a lady you’re interested in shows empathy, for example refer to some terrible news story and see how she reacts.

Well done for not entering a rebound relationship, but maintain your stance for a while after your plaster cast is removed, you need time for your heart and body to fully heal.

Just because you are suffering heartache and frustration because of your broken arm does not mean you wish to prove to the world you can be loved.

Take your time before you start dating and prioritise your emotional energy on healing. When you’re ready to mingle then just enjoy yourself with friends, brush up on your flirting skills and maybe give yourself a mini makeover to boost your confidence.

A new aftershave, haircut, jacket or watch could work wonders to lift your spirits, and you’ll have some extra money by being single. A citrus scent will awake a woman’s sexual senses, which gives you an advantage, while ladies tend to like a big watch on a man they are with more than the manufacturer.

FAMILY & FRIENDS
When your body has healed and you are emotionally ready to start meeting new ladies, it is best to initially seek advice from family and friends. Explain to them that you’ve suffered the same sort of blows from romantic relationships, so wish to avoid another woman who lacks emotional maturity and can be heartless.

These close friends and family members can be your safety net. However, you must listen to their advice and not just be interested in women for their good looks alone. You definitely require a lady with inner beauty first and foremost, with outer beauty a bonus.

Good looks always fade, but good character doesn’t. You’ve been involved with four cold hearted ladies, next time try to find someone who isn’t so shallow.

As you are heartbroken, hopefully you haven’t reached out to her after she was so dismissive towards you because of your injury. If you did then you are going to look desperate to her, and you really don’t want someone in your life who refuses to care for you because you broke your arm.

FOLLOW ASTROLOGY
Some women are born impatient, meaning that you are best to avoid certain star signs. Astrology claims that Aries rely on pure impulse and lack patience. Those that are Gemini get swiftly irritated, ego-driven Leo women demand attention and immediate results while Sagittarius ladies dislike emotional processing, so they are likely to bolt when the chips are down.

You have eight other astrological signs of the zodiac to choose a future girlfriend, whose patience won’t quickly wear thin.

I suggest you start to take an interest in astrology, especially as so many women avidly follow their star signs. It is a great ice breaker when socialising.

Check out my tips on to how to start meeting suitable single women, but remember to avoid Aries, Gemini, Leo and Sagittarius ladies.

TRUE COLOURS
Not all females are built the same. Your experience has resulted in all of your partners lacking the maturity for a meaningful and reciprocal romantic relationship. At least you didn’t need any more closure after breaking up from this quartet, because their behaviour by abandoning you showed their true colours.

They clearly only wanted everything to be perfect, with you being an inconvenience for them each time. If roles were reversed, then I doubt you would have run out on them.

Their brutal actions proved that they also lacked commitment, which is a key element for a long-lasting relationship. Next time you find a love interest ensure there’s mutual commitment, respect and trust before you get seriously involved.

You deserve someone special who can be involved with you when there are problems, because there’s always going to be bumps in the road during the journey for romance.

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