Should I Remain Patient About Puckering Up?
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Question:
I’m super keen on a woman I met at a New Year’s Eve party. We’ve been on two dates but we haven’t kissed yet, because it just felt inappropriate. When should I go for our first kiss?
We’ve arranged two more dates this month. She’s asked me to come up with suggestions for our first Valentine’s Day together, but I’m stuck for ideas.
S, Kingston
Love Doctor’s Answer:
Fantastic news that you have got the ball rolling for what sounds like a promising romantic relationship. It sounds like this lady is probably the one in charge at the moment, and she is orchestrating further dates.
If that is the case, then she has relinquished her hold by leaving you to take the initiative for Valentine’s Day. This is a test for you, which you need to pass if the romance is going places.
You need to start showing her that you are a man by taking some control, otherwise she will constantly dictate.
When you state that it has been inappropriate to kiss on your initial pair of dates, you do have to be careful not to get stuck in the friend zone with this lady.
It certainly sounds that there’s a strong chance of you two making this a meaningful relationship, because she has prompted you about the world’s most romantic day.
You must not assume that a kiss is guaranteed just because your next rendezvous is going to be your third date. You only have one shot to make an impact with that magical first kiss, which reflects your genuine romantic interest in each other.
PATIENT WAITING GAME
It’s essential that you learn to gauge if she’s ready to be kissed on your next couple of dates. You must read her body language signals as well as work out the vibe between you.
As your chemistry is gradually cranking up, there’s less fear of rejection when you are both going in for the initial kiss.
You have done well by being different from most men, who as visual creatures tend to be initially be all over their date like a rash and go for a forced kiss.
A seemingly elusive first kiss is worth waiting for. You have just started to know each other, so when you both feel comfortable to kiss it should be meaningful.
If this pair of dates still not show any sign of a kiss being on the cards, don’t take it personally. Being patient to pucker up will pay dividends, because a woman likes to be respected.
A GENTLEMANLY APPROACH
You can take the bull by the horns by referring to her lips as being beautiful and politely requesting whether you can steal a kiss.
As this respectful communication is a form of confidence then this is a turn-on for women. She’s highly likely to beam you a sweet smile and lean forward for an intimate kiss.
If you feel that being a perfect gentleman by asking for a kiss is not your style, you need to kiss her with purpose when you get the vibe.
It’s simple to initiate. You just lean in, ideally about three-quarters of the way, so that she needs to move in too if she desires a kiss from you. This offers her the opportunity to turn her head, so that you only kiss her on the cheek.
There’s always the opportunity of a passionate goodnight kiss, although this lacks being impromptu.
When she’s receptive to a kiss on the lips, please ensure that it is only a short and respectful kiss.
As for Valentine’s Day, Kingston offers a plethora of places for an intimate date.
WOW FACTOR ON MENU
Yet I would suggest that you tell her that she is going to have dinner at the place in town. This will be cosy, as you need to decide whether this is at her home or yours, when you can show her that you are serious boyfriend material by lovingly preparing a three-course meal.
Ensure that you take some citrus scented candles that you light for your romantic meal, as the aroma will awaken her sexual senses.
After dinner there’s such places as Bobbi Pecorini’s Italian Wine Bar or The Everly to toast your new romantic relationship.
Should you have little confidence in your culinary skills, there’s always the Ocean 7 Rooftop Bar and Grill or the Ribbiz Ocean Lounge that both sit on Ocean Boulevard. Alternatively, there’s the fabulous Uncorked! in Barbican.
PICK A MAIN PLACE
As Valentine’s Day lands on a Saturday this year, you could always choose to see landmarks in Kingston during the day or make an adventurous effort to visit the lush landscape of Ocho Rios.
Ochi offers plenty of romantic excursions, including the chance to climb the iconic 600-foot Dunns River Falls or visit the Blue Hole for cliff jumping, horseback riding, river tubing down the Rio Bueno or simply swimming and a picnic.
If you are seeking something livelier, consider a catamaran cruise from Ochi when you can dance onboard, snorkel and climb Dunn Falls.
OFFER TWO CHOICES
When you offer your latest squeeze options for Valentine’s Day, always narrow it down to too each time. You can always devise a flow chart that you memorise.
Start with the suggestion of either staying in Kingston or making the trek to Ochi, then give her two options following her choice.
If you can get over the obstacle of sealing your relationship with your first kiss, which is an important dating milestone of the physical side of your relationship, then it should be smooth sailing for Valentine’s Day as long as you are prepared to take the lead with some romantic ideas.
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