What To Do About My Former Love Interest?
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Question:
It’s been almost a year since I split up with the man of my dreams, just because he wanted to settle down.
Although we work in the same profession, we have yet to come across each other at functions. There’s going to be an annual event next month in Kingston that we’ve regularly visited, but I’m concerned about how we’ll react by seeing each other.
As I’ve checked his social media pages and discovered that he’s single, I want to tell him that I feel ready to commit to him. He remains in my mind and my heart, but I deeply hurt him.
P, Clarendon
Love Doctor’s Answer:
Finding that seemingly ideal romantic relationship is not easy to navigate, with the path of true love frequently not dissimilar to the game of snakes and ladders.
That’s why I penned a 20-chapter book called the ‘Journey To Find The Perfect Partner Forever’, and I’ve been delighted to receive terrific feedback from singletons who swiftly become loving couples.
You refer to your former boyfriend as the man of your dreams, but don’t elaborate why you state that despite having rejected him when he wanted to commit his long-term love for you.
Often we don’t appreciate how good someone is for us romantically until they are history. Then we realise that we made a grave error, with a downgrade rather than our anticipated upgrade.
You’ve stated that you are now ready to show commitment towards this former love interest, but you have to first earn his trust and respect rather than rush into things.
Rarely can couples who were great together simply meet up and spark the same chemistry, and all the other essential factors required for a meaningful romantic relationship.
Those that achieve this are usually genuine soulmates, and their split could probably have been avoided. This sort of couple will feel comfortable within each other’s company, even after years apart.
They can happily ask each other anything without being judged, with their deep-rooted love helping to bind them together for as long as they can commit to each other.
You should check out my guide on finding clues to being a soulmate.
As you’ve already gleaned his social media channels to determine his relationship status, and obviously delighted that he’s single as far as you are aware, then you are ready to hunt down this hunk.
You’re fully aware that it’s highly probable to bump into each other at this professional function, so you have a couple of options. You could let him know you’ll be there or you can let it be a pleasant surprise, the choice is yours.
If you prefer to give him the heads up that you’ll be there then you need to compose a short message and send it asap.
BE MYSTERIOUS AND POSITIVE
It will need to follow the tried and tested two-one psychology trick of two sentences that are positive about him, and then convey your message in the third and final sentence. In your case this will refer to the event you are likely to both attend.
It is imperative to avoid using the word I in your message, and do not sound too desperate. You want the sudden communication to appear mysterious and definitely do not offer him a yes/no response.
At least you can gauge his interest in you from his reply, if he responds. Yet you must maintain this two-one trick for all messages.
Alternatively, you can focus on presenting the very best version of yourself at the function. Although you are not guaranteed that your former beau will be present.
You still have time to invest in creating a new look or signature scent. The money you’ve saved from not dating this man will mean you should have some extra bucks in your bank, so splash the cash on something that offers you the feelgood factor.
No need to go crazy, but ladies like bags and shoes so maybe consider adding those. Otherwise a new jacket, which can be worn with various clothes, could be contemplated.
CITRUS AROMAS DELIVER EXCITEMENT
If you want to change your signature scents, my advice is purchase perfumes that smell of citrus such as grapefruit, lemons and oranges. This type of aroma will naturally increase blood flow to the sexual organs and improve alertness.
Ensure that you opt for a light and fresh daytime smell while not picking anything too brash or overpowering for the evenings. Stick to just these two scents and stop using your others.
One of my useful tips to easily make your perfume aroma linger is by using hand cream as a base layer before applying your scent.
Should you have let yourself go a bit because your romance halted, albeit because of your choice, then look at former photos of you with your ex-boyfriend and decide what you would like to improve in the way you look.
Men are largely visual creatures, and he knows your personality already, so your best bet is to up the ante in terms of the way you look and feel.
PRESENT THE WOW FACTOR
If you meet him at this function you can possess the wow factor with ease by making a plethora of tweaks. You need to be confident for him to appreciate you, so read his body language to gauge his reaction.
If there’s a genuine opportunity to rekindle your relationship, you need to profusely apologise for the pain you caused.
If he brushes it off with a comment like “It’s okay” or “Forget it”, seize this chance to suggest taking him somewhere special to partly make up for the anguish you subjected him to. Obviously not just a bar or restaurant, throw him some ideas to get him excited about spending time with you and hopefully he will join in.
To continue trying to turn things around, you should jolt his mind about joyful times you shared in the past so that you are guiding him towards only positive thoughts.
All romantic relationships can be repaired, as long as there’s good communication and the inclination from both parties to try to make things as solid as possible going forward.
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