Should I Stick To Being Self-Partnered in 2024?

Why not send former Kingston-resident Love Doctor your relationship queries? Use the form to submit your question(s).

Question:

I’ve been savouring life as a singleton for over a year, and heard a new phrase of ‘self-partnered’. I’ve coined this for a few months now as it sounds better than being a single woman.

Next year I’ll be 50 and have plans to travel across the globe, as well as ticking all the boxes on my bucket list.

Although I’m happy being ‘self-partnered’, am I being selfish by continuing this way and not looking for romance?

  

S, St. Elizabeth

 

Love Doctor’s Answer:

Self-partnered generally refers to treating yourself exactly the same as you would to that seemingly elusive special someone, and are totally uninterested in dating for a while.

This brings up the opportunity to go on solo dates, just like you would if coupled up. These solo dates offer the excitement and thrill of having something to look forward to, such as a visit to a restaurant or theatre.

Many people who aren’t interested in changing their relationship status from single can either adopt the phrases solo polyamorous or self-partnering.

Society tends to frown upon those not in a loving or conventional partnership, but there’s no need for you to adhere to peer pressure.

You can remain committed to self-partnering if that’s going to keep you happy. With plans to both travel and tick off the boxes on your bucket list when you hit your milestone birthday means that you sound content and have ambitions.

Losing the freedom that you’ve been enjoying before your big birthday could prove disastrous, as any new man in your life probably won’t want to do exactly the same things as you are planning.

  

Unless you organically meet the perfect partner, whose aspirations and dreams are akin to yours planned for next year, then I recommend avoiding romance. Of course after your adventures there’s a plethora of ways to begin seeking someone special to complete your life.

Many men only give ladies the information that they wish to hear in the first six weeks, because then they’ve moved onto the intimacy in the relationship but may have become bored.

Men, as visual creatures, tend to have limited capacity to let a romance blossom. They get their heads turned by the sight of female flesh and attraction is with other ladies rather than the one they’ve been dating.

This lack of devotion soon shines through, with familiarity breeding contempt for the majority of men in a new relationship. His attitude often is that he doesn’t want the same woman forever, the same way that he doesn’t wish to eat exactly the same food each day for breakfast.

When these sort of cracks show, the lady has to be courageous and move on. Men will cling onto the relationship for around three months simply for the sex, and are like bees seeking pollen as they set off on their journey to fill their sexual appetite with another woman. Only the more romantic men, or those who have insecurity issues, won’t follow this kind of pattern.

Bearing this in mind, my advice is to understand the reality of suddenly finding a partner. There are techniques to get some romance into your life.

If you do meet a man who happens to offer the potential of becoming someone amazing then embrace this, but don’t take your eye off the ball of your dreams in 2024.

Utilise this time of the year, over the festive season, to start planning how you will be committed to your self-growth next year.

With the big 5-0 fast approaching, you may have a handful of romantic wounds that need to be dealt with. Face these head on rather than brushing them away then setting off on your travels. They will remain until you self-heal, so rush closure for your own sake.

  

Your best bet is to try to arrange a swift daytime meeting with any exes that have previously caused agony and pain. This could be a bolt out of the blue for them, but it will pay dividends.

You aren’t giving them any hopes by seeing them in person, you’re simply drawing a line underneath your former relationship. By chatting about the past and establishing that you’ve gone your separate ways, thanking them for the good times, means that closure is complete. There’s no need to think about each other any longer.

Your journey of self-partnering needs not last forever, because after your travelling you may wish to find a long-term partner to settle down with.

For the time being consider your needs and concentrate on your dedication to care for yourself and nurture yourself, so that you can enjoy a wondrous and fulfilling life.

The benefits of you being self-partnered, because of your plans next year, outweigh entering a romantic relationship. I firmly advise you that there’s no need to abandon your dreams or relationship status, just keep loving life.

Self-partnering denotes a commitment to honoring one’s needs, healing one’s wounds, and working towards self-growth and self-actualization. This daily dedication holds tremendous benefits for all people, regardless of whether or not they have other partners.

No need to abandon

Our society treats being single as a life stage to be slogged through before meeting a partner/s—which is when the supposedly more mature and fulfilling stage begins self-care and self-growth to be selfish or self-involved.


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