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My ex-boyfriend keeps pleading to get back together, despite knowing that I’m very happy with a new partner since February.
We had cut all ties. He wants to turn back the clock as he’s suddenly single and lonely.
He broke my heart when we split up just before Christmas. I’ve since moved on, and feel my new boyfriend is a proper upgrade.
Should I just ignore my ex or go ahead and block him because he’s being very persistent and I have no interest in him?
C, Hiberna District, Manchester
Well it’s pretty commonplace for an ex to ask for a second chance after they come to their senses and realise that they shouldn’t have broken up.
They often play with their former partner’s emotions, but purely for selfish reasons rather than genuine love, once their latest relationship goes pear-shaped.
It’s extremely unfair of him to be nagging you to rekindle your romance. He was responsible for ending it all, and unfortunately left you to pick up the pieces. He’s since been involved with at least one other lady, so I don’t blame you for no longer having any interest in him.
It is great news that you have bounced back from your break up, and feel so strongly about your new beau that you consider him to be a “proper upgrade”.
Bearing in mind that you were dumped by your ex, and you are clearly happy with your new man, then it is a no-brainer to dismiss this unwanted attention from your former partner.
At the end of the day it is his loss. He’s only toying with your emotions and testing you out to see if you would potentially come running back into his arms.
He broke both your heart and trust in him last time. Even if you were single then I would strongly urge you to steer clear of him because you don’t wish to suffer a repeat of the break up turmoil.
There would be nothing to prevent him from hurting you emotionally yet again. He is showing through his communication that he’s a selfish man who has little respect for you, just what he wants. You need to shake off your ex once and for all.
Your best way forward is to send him a direct message explaining that you have moved forward and in a steady relationship that makes you extremely happy. Don’t compare him to your latest man, and don’t allow him to try to engage in conversation.
Best to offer him as little time as possible, so that he realises he means very little to you nowadays. Leave it short and sweet, don’t divulge too much information about your romance. Don’t mention the past, you have no need to look in your rear view mirror.
With your focus on the future, it is best to ask him to refrain from contacting you at all. Make it very clear to him that you wish to put all of your efforts into this latest loving relationship, as so far it has been pretty perfect. Let him feel jealous and cross with himself for making the wrong decision about breaking up.
Tell him that you hope he understands. Ask him how he would have felt if an ex had been trying to win you back when you were dating. If he has any empathy then he can put himself into the shoes of your new beau and respect you.
On the other hand, if he won’t take your rejection seriously then initially ignore him. Should he persist then it is best to block him from seeing your social media channels, although I advise at this stage to restrict these to friends only, as well as block him on all other forms of communication.
There’s no need to feel guilty about blocking your former boyfriend if he is potentially going to jeopardise your current relationship.
He will be forced to give up when your message sinks in. Hopefully he can prove to you that he is a decent man and be sincerely happy for you that Cupid’s arrow has struck.
Any ex who claims that they love you will genuinely be delighted for you that you’ve found romantic happiness once more, even though it is not with them. If they never really loved you then an ex will just be looking to win your heart back, but then that signals it was never true love.
Your former partner made a massive mistake of looking elsewhere for love and romance, but it has all come crashing down for him. You are his initial back-up plan, and he is looking for the easiest solution to avoid being single.
Stand your ground. Concentrate on your new man. Be grateful that you aren’t available for this ex-boyfriend. However, never waver because he’s an ex for a reason and the second shot together tends to be a diluted version.
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