Dear Love Doctor

What’s Next For The New Year After My Breakup?

Why not send former Kingston-resident Love Doctor your relationship queries? Use the form to submit your question(s).


I’ve just been dumped before Christmas Day and I’m thinking about what my New Year Resolutions should be as I’m angry with him for the break-up. What should I include?

Darina, Kingston

I’m sorry to learn that you are suffering heartache and sadness, especially around the festive season when all around you the media heavily promotes happiness, couples and various types of love.


Love Doctor MontiAlthough you will be unfortunately suffering the various stages of a relationship coming to a sudden halt, your best way forward is to focus on the future. Leave this man that you loved in your rear view mirror and find the drive to move forward.

Be cautious during the holiday season as you are emotionally vulnerable. A new year’s eve kiss with a virtual stranger is acceptable, Be aware that there’s going to be a plethora of singletons on the prowl looking for fun and frolics rather than a steady relationship.

You can expect to feel more down during the winter months because of the drop in serotonin levels. Many people will seek the comfort and reliability of their exes to try to lift their spirits, but this is usually for selfish reasons not because they wish to rekindle the sparks you two once enjoyed.

My advice is don’t be tempted to get in touch with former flames just because you feel lonely and have seen too many feelgood festive movies. That is now history, and more than likely will ultimately end in tears.

Already you are taking the correct steps by making an inquiry about a new year, and with a clean slate you can plan to create an improved version of you in 2023.

Suddenly being single will initially feel painful, as it is similar to the stages we go through for grief. On the other hand it does free up your time to reflect, and we only really learn from our mistakes.

You can now embark on life-changing activities and decide what you really have the desire  to do to evolve as a better and happier person.


The first, and possibly only, new year’s resolution that I suggest is to create a realistic bucket list and then narrow them down to the top 10 in order of importance.

Can you achieve one of these each month but not bother with January and December? If so, then see if these expectations can be shared with any close friends or family members as you are currently feeling sad being alone.

You may well find the man of your dreams on one of these adventures, as common interests are a terrific foundation for building up a loving partnership.

I’m not suggesting that on your bucket list your priority is to seek a beau, because you won’t be quite ready for the emotional or mental aggravation that derives from dating at the moment. It’s far better to cruise into 2023 as a happy singleton.

Finding a new hobby is the other main new year’s resolution that I strongly urge you to consider. Once again a common interest will help you meet men, whether as friends or romantically, which will help build up your confidence after being shelved.

Another new year’s resolution is to make 2023 the year when you make the decisions and are in control. By being more sociable in the new year opens up endless possibilities to explore life. If you meet a love interest at events or when out with friends then you can open your heart and mind to whether you fancy a romance.

It’s only natural to feel upset when happy couples celebrating Christmas and the new year are being flaunted in your face from every direction.

Yet time is the only healer, and with your brand new bucket list plus paying some thought about an exciting hobby then this time next year you will be a better person.

Forever love is often found when you least expect it, and with your plans for 2023 firmly in place then hopefully someone who deserves your heart will get the love and romantic attention from you.


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