This post is inspired by an old article in The Jamaica Observer entitled “How to tell she’s wife material”.
The article listed eight traits that can be found in a woman deemed to be “wife material” and I wondered if I fit those traits. Then I began to wonder what were the traits of a man that is deemed to be “husband material”. No one ever speaks to that, so I decided to.
1) Firstly, he has to be someone I can see myself having children with. Someone that is mature and strong enough to handle the stresses of being a father. Someone who will play an active role in my child’s life. I grew up with my father and I do not want my child(ren) to be robbed of that joy.
2) He should compliment and not complete me. I am complete and I believe whoever I am with should accept me, flaws and all and not set out to change me. Mi nuh want nuh man demeaning me and constantly pointing out my flaws. Yes, I know I have bad habits, everybody does, however from constant contact, he will inspire me to change. Inspire me to want to be the best ME that I can possibly be.
3) I am an independent woman, but I am also old-fashioned. I like my man to take care of me emotionally, physically and also financially. SUE ME! I don’t need you to splash loads of money on me, but I want to know that if one month I can’t pay the bills, you are ready and willing to help me. Trust that the favour will be returned. I also need a man that can manage the finances, because I tend to get carried away with the spending, need me a man that will put his foot down and say “Vanessa, buil’ wid the bag a unnecessary spending”.
4) I want someone that I connect with not only on an intimate level, but also on an emotional level. I want you to love me senselessly and then be able to cuddle with me, watch a move with me or just chill and talk to me. I am a very romantic person. I like taking long walks. I want my man to buy me a Twix bar just because he knows I like it. Little things like that mean a lot to a woman.
5) I want a man that isn’t satisfied in his position. He is constantly seeking to improve himself. He never settles. I need a man with these qualities because I plan to pass these qualities on to my children.
6) Even though I like manly men, able to put his foot down when necessary and make those tough decisions, I want a man that can be childish and sensitive as well. Also, I want a man that isn’t a complete momma’s boy, because I have no intentions of competing with his mother and I don’t think his mother should be competing with me.
7) If a man doesn’t give respect he shouldn’t expect to be respected. As well as , if a man doesn’t do anything that he should be respected for, there is no way his woman will respect him. Men need to stop thinking that they are owed respect and start realizing that they earn respect.
8) Just like how men don’t like to be nagged, so do women. Don’t treat me like a child. I am a grown woman. Stop acting like just because you are the man in the relationship that you are more mature and more knowledgeable. I can teach you a thing or two you know.
9) I know men have their boys that they par with and I do not believe in the adage that birds of a feather flock together. I want a man that can stand out from his boys and be his own man. He should be able to identify when his boys mess up and be able to call them on it.
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