I Need Some Guidance In Seeking A Soul Mate – Help Me Love Doctor

Why not send former Kingston-resident Love Doctor your relationship queries? Use the form to submit your question(s).


I have been waiting forever for my soul mate but I have yet to find love. How do I discover my soul mate?


Huss, Sussex

Love Doctor’s Answer:

Love Doctor MontiTrue love is tricky to find for everyone, and finding a soul mate is an even harder task.


When many singletons claim that they wish to meet their soul mate, a word that is regularly brandished round romantic movies, they tend to be unsure what a soul mate truly is.

There are many forms of soul mates, which include besties. You are obviously referring to a soul mate in a romantic partnership.

As you may be aware, Cupid can strike at any time. It is not necessary to both of you being cut from the same cloth, but more about possessing a strong feeling of affinity and connection. A soul mate is the most intense type of romantic relationship that you will ever experience, so should be cherished.

Being soul mates offers incredible passion and romantic gestures in addition to the two of you meeting equally on emotional, intellectual and spiritual levels.

Although a soul mate is ultimately your true love, be prepared for a bumpy ride as even soul mate relationships experience the general ups and downs in life. But true soul mates will be there for each other and extremely supportive.

But please do not see everything through rose-tinted glasses, because our soul mates are far from an angel to have fallen from the heavens.

There are a plethora of factors to consider whether a special someone is actually your soul mate. These include being instantly comfortable around each other, feeling understood without any pressure, offering two-way empathy and of course following that all important powerful gut feeling.


In this day and age, with digital dating so prevalent, disposable relationships seem to be the norm. In reality most single people finding true love and romance will either be caught by surprise when it arrives, or they will simply settle for virtually anyone in a desperate bid to be cared for and hopefully loved.

Because of the ease of being able to meet someone romantically online rather than in person, many of the ingredients required to find chemistry – such as body language, smell etc – is missing.

When you do meet someone face-to-face and the relationship blooms, the massive difference between being just a couple and soul mates is that neither of you give up on each other at the first sign of trouble. As fun and frolics was possibly the reason for getting together, as opposed to a connection, then soul mates unite in order to work through their challenges as a team.

When you are looking to find a true soul mate, hunt down someone who would happily encourage to develop overall as person and equally that she can offer support to help you grow as a person. This is such a crucial factor if you are seeking a loving and meaningful long-term relationship.

My advice is that to find you soul mate you need to work on making yourself a better catch by being a more confident and happy person.

However, you should never forget that what you need to initially rely on is chemistry. Yes you can go online searching for love on dating sites, but as a man you are a visual creature so will only be attracted by looks rather than the overall person. If you use digital dating then this could be partly the reason why you have yet to find your true love and soul mate.

What you must concentrate on finding, to be the king of the castle, is that undefinable connection with someone. You will know when she is that special, as the feel-good factor remains each and every time you spend time together.

When you are comfortable with each other and the relationship is making steady progress, then communication is paramount to keep everything running smoothly. For longevity in the partnership you must always approach communication with mutual honesty, openness, patience and understanding.

I suggest that to prepare for finding your soul mate that you concentrate on yourself. You must begin to love everything about yourself, but be realistic about your strengths and weaknesses. If you cannot fall in love with yourself then how can you expect someone else to love you?


As you are the creator of your future then brimming with a new-found confidence will work wonders. Your every action, thought and word is a creation of you. Genuine smiles, confident body language and wearing clothes with assurance all add up and are noticed.

Have some aspirations and expectations to bring to a future relationship and into your life in general. These will be an asset to a potential partner.

You also need to find your own soul, because only after you have found your own soul can you find a soul mate. Your one and only soul mate is that person with whom you are meant to be with for the rest of your life.

While all soul mate relationships teach us the various important factors on our life journey, finding “the one” will only succeed if you can both compromise in your partnership.

It is imperative to believe that your soul mate exists out there. When you find her then as long as you complement each other in every way you will be able to complete your life’s jigsaw of love with a soul mate being the final piece.

Click here to try the soulmate quiz

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