Why not send former Kingston-resident Love Doctor your relationship queries? Use the form to submit your question(s).
I’m not having much luck with the beautiful, younger ladies but I’m not attracted to older women. I’m aged 52 and need my love life to dramatically improve.
Carlos – Kingston
Love Doctor’s Answer:
Age has no boundaries when it comes to love and romance, and you should not be making barriers about such aspects as age.
I personally recommend that a dozen years is the maximum age gap that you should be seeking for a lasting relationship, although that is not set in stone merely a suggestion.
On the other hand, if you are just wanting some fun then you can be looking at a few more years between you.
Whatever happens, bearing in mind that you are in your early 50s, you don’t want to be chasing ladies that are young enough to be your daughter and appear like a Sugar Daddy.
There are so many women across the globe who have a tale to tell about a disgusting older man trying to pick them up that you really don’t wish to be the type who will feature in such a story.
Age really is only a number when it comes down to relationships, as the key to finding a loving partner is down to connection.
There doesn’t have to be an instant spark to make it work between two people, as that often fades, yet there needs to be a connection that can derive from other factors apart from physical attraction. Possessing the same core values, similar upbringing/life experiences and interests all play a huge part in compatibility.
As a single 52-year-old you will have, like most around your age, been on the roller-coaster ride of love and romance. It can be a smooth ride for some, but for the majority offers perils and pitfalls.
My advice is to learn from your past experiences so that you are aware of what went wrong. This link, pointing out six types of ladies to avoid, should narrow down your search for the next woman to be in your life:
Being middle aged, and being dismissive of older ladies, you have narrowed it down to the dilemma of either dating those around your age bracket or younger.
Both those in your age bracket, will probably be divorced and with grown-up children, and the younger ladies will probably be after some security from you. So you need to consider your value to them, and what you can offer apart from a loving heart.
To attract younger ladies you need to firstly be in your comfort zone. But you must offer a potential partner that je ne sais quoi.
Be aware that because of their young age and often immature neediness that they are likely to be more dramatic and emotional than their older yet wiser counterparts.
If you are one of those older men that takes care of themselves, and are bothered what you look like, then as long as your grooming products and aftershaves are age appropriate you should find younger women will naturally be interested in you.
Tread with caution as most younger women really are not after a serious relationship, especially as we live in such turbulent times since the coronavirus crisis reared its ugly head.
Be aware that a younger woman is more likely to desire a clingy and needy relationship, which often swiftly turns hot and heavy.
To avoid confrontation with her you must keep your distance by staying away from aspects of daily life regarding her family, socialising and work until you are a serious couple.
If you are after a forever relationship then maybe you should stop entertaining the notion of becoming romantically involved with a younger lady, as the role of getting married and living happily ever after may not appeal to all of those women.
To attract young ladies you should ensure that you don’t try to act like you are younger. Instead be relaxed, fun and pleasant so that you ooze confidence.
Young women tend to find confidence (not cockiness) sexy. So up the ante to deliver these signals – such as making decisions, sometimes taking control and show realms of chivalry – to spark some magic into the relationship.
At the end of the day she will be after someone who is classier and more respectful than her previous boyfriends, so ensure that you dress for your age by dressing with style.
Many young women avoid the immature younger man and instead crave an older mature to date. Concentrate on oozing with confidence and being secure about your age, learn to be patient and less easily offended as younger women can often be frustrating with their actions and ideas.
I recommend following my step-by-step plan to make yourself look and feel more attractive at:
There will always be some stigma and shallowness associated with a middle-aged man dating a younger woman, although this is usually because those aged 45+ tend to be unhappy in their skin and therefore they object to older men dating younger women.
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