We often speak about the young men on the corners rubbing ‘out’ their hand middles with nothing to do, which oftentimes put them in trouble with the law, and we forget to look at where the problem originated.
I write with the hope that somehow our young ladies of this lovely country will be able to get much-needed guidance and mentorship. I also hope those who consider themselves role models will begin to play the role they have taken to influence these young women in all aspects of their lives. It is sad that, with so many preventive measures available and free contraceptives issued at clinics, young women seem to be aspiring to become babymothers, rather than wives who feel responsible to create a stable and secure home in which to raise children.
Recently, a popular personality’s private affairs were exposed regarding maintenance and, while I feel sorry for the parties involved, having their personal affairs published, it is more the child whom I feel sorry for. At such a young age she has no control over how often she will be able to interact with either parent.
Too often we see young ladies in harsh living conditions, who barely can take care of themselves, become pregnant and then play the role of victims. The real victims are the children who are conceived in the poverty or unplanned situations, and as soon as they are old enough they are unleashed on society, oftentimes contributing to the increasing crime rate.
Our grandparents had set the standards for us to ensure that we had a solid background, and even though both grandparents had constant relationships challenges that other family members were not aware of, they stuck together for the benefit of the children. I am in no way asking an unhappy couple to stay together because of children, at the end of the day whatever decisions that are made should not be to the benefit of the parents, but the children, as over time psychological effects will be irreversible.
Today, more and more people are entering relationships like a business opportunity and don’t establish a strong foundation in which to build and then think carefully about having children. No one really wants to commit, it is always easier to leave and find another person to try with, and the cycle continues with the children. The victim — the child — is at the mercy of a mature parent who will ensure that the child’s interest is placed above all others.
A child’s future is more than swimming classes, karate classes, and ballet classes. It goes beyond drop-offs and pickup visitations. A child is not an instrument to get money each month or a showpiece to prove to your circles that you can bear fruit. A child forms part of a nation’s future and it is important that we establish meaningful relationships with strong morals and standards that the child will be able to one day become a good parent, leader and mentor for others.
Ladies, let us spend more time being a mentor/role model for our young women. It is critical that we help them find themselves, but first we have to respect ourselves and stop collecting babymother trophies.