When I wrote the Book ” Every Man Deserves A Good Jacket”, the men on my page went livid. I was asked why would I write a book like that? I had to explain that the book is a story and not a commentary.
I read an article in the Gleaner about jackets:Made in Jamaica in 2011 and I remembered showing the article to an older male friend of mine. He smiled and said that ” Every Man deserves A Good Jacket” to wear to “Graduations, Weddings and Funerals”. That is where I got the inspiration for the title.
Everyone knows about “Bun and Jacket” situations but people are quite “hush hush” when it comes to the Pregnancy Con. This does not only happen in Jamaica, it happens all over the world where women use children to secure relationships. This arises when a woman uses the idea of being pregnant to control, manipulate and maintain a relationship.
But does it really work? A popular Dance Hall song claims ” pickney nah hold man again” and if so be the case then why are young women becoming pregnant in order to secure a failing relationship.
This is how it works:
A man starts dating a woman who will very soon claim that she is pregnant, and then:
(1)She will insist on getting money to abort the pregnancy.
(2)She might tell him that she is pregnant to see how he would react to the idea when she is in fact not pregnant. She will then get pregnant after the fact to absolve her deception, Baby is born a month or so overdue!
(3)She will use pregnancy as a meal ticket, get house, food, clothing and other bills paid.
(4) If he is having an affair, she will use the pregnancy to force him to make their relationship public and confront his wife.
(5) To trap a man she knows is leaving her.
Why do women use the pregnancy Con?
I for one think it is inapplicable and does not yield the results that most women want since there are many young women out there with children whose fathers refuse to take care of the child.Many of their stories began pretty much like above.
Some women use the pregnancy con when the relationship plateaus. When she reaches that stage in the relationship where things are going absolutely perfect and her insecurities begin to arise as to how she can concrete the union. In order to inject some semblance of security back into the relationship, she lies about being pregnant with the intention to get pregnant.. Reality can attest (apparent by the many single parent families) that the pregnancy con or trick does not work in solidifying a relationship.
It is only natural that a well meaning partner will support a woman he admires if she says that she is pregnant. . If the man used protection frequently then he will stop all together. (She is pregnant already and cannot get pregnant again.). In reality she is not pregnant (yet) but will be soon because he no longer uses a contraceptive.
If the man insists on an abortion then he would have to find approximately ten thousand Jamaican dollars to give her to do it. Some men would take their time and back out of the relationship, completely leaving her on her own with her child.
Some women use the abortion technique to scam money out of men. It is one of the easiest ways to get a ten grand from a man by telling him you are pregnant when you know he does not want a child. The man will find the money in earnest to get rid of the problem and you in the same stride.
Some men will want details. They need to know how far along the pregnancy is? When did she last see her period? Questions like: Are you sure? I thought you were on the pill, when did you get off? What are you planning to do about it? A man might take the female to the doctor to confirm pregnancy. If she insists that she wants to carry the child then she might be on her own or the man may take care of the financial needs of the child but without any further intimate involvement with her. He resents her for getting herself pregnant albeit most men do not think that if they don’t want a baby they should simply use a condom.
What does a woman gain from the pregnancy con/scam?
It is not really a con per se. Women have been using a child to trap men into a permanent relationship for centuries. Churchgoers know the fastest way to a shotgun marriage is a pregnancy.
If the relationship progresses as the female wishes then she gets the security that she needs with the man she is involved with. If the man dumps her then she gets money from him for the child. If the man does not want anything to do with her, thinks she is tricking him or disbelieves her then she is left with a father less child.
Not all women who get pregnant do so deliberately since more than half of all pregnancies are unplanned. If a man does not want to be forced into a commitment or financial responsibility to any woman then he needs to use protection so that if she gets pregnant then she cannot call his name. If she insist the condom broke, then do a DNA test to rule out any doubts.
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