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Ten Things Jamaican men can get away with that Women Can’t

Crystal Evans
1. A Jamaican man can have as many ‘outside’ children as he likes and his wife is expected to forgive him and continue the relationship.
This is a big issue since if a woman within a relationship gets pregnant for an ‘outside’ man, the relationship is over. Very few Jamaican men will stay with a woman “who annodda” man impregnated. Men who do so are considered fools and lose respect from their male peers. People might say women who stay in these relationships have a choice to leave but in reality some do not. Before you condemn these women, be mindful of the facts, never react without knowledge of their situations. 

2. A man can sleep with as many women as he likes and still be considered a very eligible partner while if a woman has been around the “block” a couple times, she is no longer ‘marriage material’.

This might only be a perception for women with less virtuous reputations and a history of promiscuity do end up with a good partners. What is trash to one man is gold to another. It is unfair that women are not allowed by social sanctioning to play the field as much as men without any form of reproach. A woman cannot do what a man does and still be a lady.

double standards Jamaican men cheaters
Image Source: singleblackmale.org

3. A Jamaican man is not expected to wash underwear. As a matter of fact, a lot of men within the lower economical class stress the notion of not having their rags in the same basin as a woman’s panties. While women will wash a man’s undergarments. Some men will not even put panties on the line or take them off. To wash female underwear is considered emasculating while female’s washing a man’s brief is seen as traditional. 

4. A man can stay out all night and all day if he likes but if a woman decides to live this “pon the road” lifestyle, men complain. It was only recently a female acquaintance explained that her man will go to work, come home and leave again to chill with his friends. She said that she decided to give him a piece of his own medicine by stepping in and out as she liked and spending less time at home. She said he claimed that she was not living a “good gyal lifestyle” and was becoming a “road terrorist”.  He found it unpleasant the idea that a woman could love the road as much as him and he might not be alone in this perception. 

5. Men are not chastised as much when they abandon children but women are considered lower than the bottom when they leave their children. It is widely assumed that women have a more intense bond with children due to pregnancy and only a heartless woman could leave her child. Men can pass their children on the streets without as much as a glance but a mother is suppose to be committed to her children. Men can spend less time with their offspring, refuse to attend school meetings, have zero contact and it is accepted with little to no reprimand. 

6. When a man remarries he can bring his new wife to the house he shared with his previous partner. Women especially if the house was built by their first partner are not expected to bring another man into the home. She can live there with the children as long as she does not bring any man there. A woman will help a man build a house and he will throw her out and bring in another woman while if a man  builds a house with a woman and the relationship goes sour, he will insist that “no man nah live a him yard“

7. When a man likes a woman, she is expected to like him back but if a woman crushes on a man and he is not interested she is expected to leave him alone. A man will ‘psst’ at a female and if she refuses to give him any attention, he will pursue, insult and even manhandle her. If a woman likes a man and he is not interested and he makes his disinterest known, the woman is suppose to give up and leave him alone. Why can’t men leave a women alone when they show they are not interested?

8. Men who insist that they do not eat and yet expect women to eat (from) them. Oral sex has always been an issue that highlights the hypocrisy of some Jamaican men. Not all men are uncomfortable and some will admit that they will do it but a vast majority will “nyam bible leaf” that they do not believe in men doing oral sex yet seem to enjoy receiving it from a female. How can you enjoy something you do not see yourself doing? That is just plain hypocrisy. Like Kartel bashing Lisa Hype and then endorsing the same concept in his later music. 

9. This ties in with number one. Many Jamaican men love to give bun (cheat) and expect their women to forgive and move on. A man will insist that the woman ‘get over it’ and stop nagging him about his indiscretion. Now make him a get a bun and it’s a whole different scenario. He will cuss, bawl and wail over the alleged cheating and find it very difficult to forgive his woman. His friends who had no qualms about encouraging him to cheat will say ” Don’t be no Bottle torch or One Burner” will boost him to leave him woman cause “the gyal diss him”. So hypocritical. 

10. The Jamaican man can carry himself any way in a relationship but not so for females. Men think they deserve the most beautiful and sexiest girls and want to carry themselves as them feel like. Men say it is their spending power that a woman is attracted to and not their bodies so they can come with “big belly, face full a hair and two days don’t bathe or brush teeth” and females are suppose to accept it once they are spending their money. Women now have to be perfect in every way and less attractive men will call girls ugly and fat when they have big belly, no teeth and dirty clothes swag. 

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Crystal Evans

Crystal Evans was born in Westmoreland Jamaica. She is the author of several books centered on her experiences growing up in rural Jamaica and the Jamaican cultural nucleus. She is a voracious reader.

50 thoughts on “Ten Things Jamaican men can get away with that Women Can’t”

  • Thank you! I’ve been living this for years wondering who is spilling the beans.

    Reply

  • All that is said in this article is true. However, I must say that despite all of these negative traits, there are some Jamaican men who are faithful, great partners and lovers and ones who would do anything to please their women- including cooking, washing (even their underwear), cleaning etc. The way I see it though is that as a woman we should not allow a man to wash our underwear unless we are sick etc. That is our responsibility. I grew up seeing my father taking my mother’s underwear off the line and even when my mother is home. It was when I got older that I realized that there are men who are against those things.

    My biggest problem is the fact that the government needs to ensure that the men are locked up when they don’t take care of their children. I also blame the Jamaican women for not taking their “baby fathers” to Family Court for financial assistance because of the stigma attached. Jamaicans on a whole have a phobia with taking people to court and more so, Jamaican women with dead beat baby fathers. Mothers like to say ” leave him to time ” or “”retribution will teck him” while they spend the next 18 years struggling to provide for their children and their baby daddies are taking care of other men’s children and living it up. It is time we stop this nonsense and allow these “sperm donors” to take responsibility for their actions, Also, as women, we need to remember that it is ” mommy’s baby and daddy’s maybe” so we should take better precautionary measures to prevent us getting pregnant: unless we are really ready. Children are a blessing but it is a curse to have your children and cannot provide for them. We have to break this stupid cycle.

    It is now the year 2020 and I must say that for the last 5-10 years, more Jamaican men have been openly admitting that they ‘eat” or indulge in the act of oral sex. Don’t get me wrong, there are still some men who would rather die than admit that they do but now more men are being open about this topic.

    In conclusion, I must say that I have been hurt by Jamaican men but I know and have seen the good ones in action with their partners, families and friends. When you meet the right one, I guarantee that you will get the best out of him. A real Jamaican man will never walk away from his responsibilities. He is respectful and hardworking and will never allow you to split the bills “half and half” like men in some cultures. Even if you earn more that he does, he will “watch no face” and do what he must as a man because he knows and understands his role and responsibilities in the relationship. Also, this is the man who loves and respects his mama and sisters and as with his woman, will do anything for them. Yes, similar to the behavior of men from other cultures, Jamaican men can be dogs but the fact is that there are also good, upright Jamaican men out there. Believe it or not, there are women out there who would do anything to “hook” a Jamaican man.

    Reply

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