Sex before Marriage : Jamaica’s Virgin Marys and Mary Magdalenes

Christians reject the notion that Jesus and Mary Magdalene could ever possibly be in a relationship on the grounds that Jesus would not want sexual relations with a worldly woman more so his friendship with her was more one of divine pity.

He was trying to transform her life and save her soul. Jesus would never discriminate, Jesus would not look at people the way some christian do when you come to church on Sunday.

A relative of mine is a Minister of Religion. She posits in a conversation we had that she does not support the argument for sex after marriage because couples need to ascertain sexual compatibility before marriage.
She insist that affairs and divorces are prevalent primarily because of bad sex and Christian’s misguided notions about relationships and sex.

Some Christians paint sex as a sinful act and therefore women are less open to gaining pleasure from their experiences and working on maximizing pleasure in their marital bed. Sex is more of a marriage condition and a means of procreation than a fairly human and normal desire.


I placed this topic on a forum on Facebook to find out what other bloggers thought about it and as I had anticipated it became more about defining and valuating my relatives qualification as a minister of religion than discussing the issue at hand. Other Christians were ready to hurl her into hell for misrepresenting the biblical teachings and altering Christendom views to suit secular lifestyle.

Their responses dripped with contempt and I was forced to wonder what percentage of married Jamaican Women were virgins on their Wedding Nights? I hope those sinners throwing stones did not give up the goodies before the pastor pronounced their relationship as sacred before the eyes of God. I beseech-ed them to tell the truth that Jehovah, God, Almighty loved.

I wanted to nip their self righteousness in the bud. I tell my christian relatives that “churchianity” is the central reason the church is not teeming with young people.  The hypocrisy within the church is not concealed from this growing, informed generation. The arrogance among church goers is unnerving, Jesus was such a humble individual to begin with, he did not discriminate.  

Christians having sex before marriage
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Some profound perspectives were given by respondents such as what if a man test compatibility and then decides that he is not interested in marrying this young woman, how would that look in the eyes of the church? I would think that any woman with an iota of self worth would not sleep with a man; christian or not- if she is not interested in a long term relationship.

You have no control over how someone will treat you or what they would do after they got what they want from you. You have to find someone that is worth risking everything for.

 Sex is a very private matter and very few Christians ever admit that their marriage and subsequent baby was a very shotgun one. How many christian women went to their wedding night a virgin? How many married men cheat on their wives because sex in their marriage is for a lack of a better term “Bland”. Christian men are sexual beings and have desires like other red blooded males. 
Sex is not the key determining factor of a relationship but if you ask nine out of ten men why they left their partners,  bad sex is bound to come out of their mouths. Sex is important and the woman who knows this has no problem keeping happy satisfied partners: not that men don’t cheat even when they are getting everything they need out of a relationship. If God saw sex as a bad thing, why did he create it? 
Some bloggers maintain that sex discussions prior to marriage can assure one of compatibility without testing the waters. We know people tend to sell themselves when they are scouting for love and many marriages are destroyed because of lies told in the dating phase. A relationship, marriage or not has no guarantees. Couples have to be committed to working on their relationship and making it work. 
I do not suppose my relative was trying to discredit the bible. She was sharing her perspective from a human standpoint and not a “I want to be like God purview”. She believes it is a matter of personal choice. Your life is yours to live how you see it fit. Religions should be about love, not about condemning or converting others. Do you think people like David and King Solomon could survive in today’s church? Solomon with his promiscuity, David who killed another man to get his wife and his many baby mothers or Jesus who was seen in public on a regular basis with a prostitute?  It is a very good thing that our Gods do not have Human qualities or think the way we do. If God was like man, a number of us would be in serious trouble. 
Quote- ” Our pastors are overly concerned with preparing the congregation for heaven that they ignore their roles in reinforcing values and morals that form the core principles of the religious notions they pontificate to their assemblies. Religion must play its role in not only being a cushion against the harsh realities of modern day black communities but in strengthening the core principles of decency, love and humanity among black people not for heavenly rewards but so that we can live in unity and prosperity.” – Crystal Evans-

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Crystal Evans

Crystal Evans was born in Westmoreland Jamaica. She is the author of several books centered on her experiences growing up in rural Jamaica and the Jamaican cultural nucleus. She is a voracious reader.

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