Why not send former Kingston-resident Love Doctor your relationship queries? Use the form to submit your question(s).
I’ve been dating a gorgeous lady for almost three years and I’m thinking of popping the question around Christmas because next year is a leap year.
Her birthday is Christmas Eve, and we are already making plans for the festive season.
Is it a good idea to ask her on her birthday for a double celebration, wait for Christmas Day to propose, go for our first date anniversary on Boxing Day or choose another date to ask her to marry me?
B, St. Catherine Parish
Love Doctor’s Answer:
Congratulations for thinking ahead and avoiding the leap year. You are showing initiative as well as taking the bull by the horns in your bid for finding love forever.
Although a plethora of people believe it is romantic to propose and/or get married on the same day as another celebration, I believe that this is a dangerous scenario.
Not only does it dilute the excitement of proposing or getting married, but should the relationship not work out then that particular day (whether it is a birthday, Christmas Day, New Year’s Day etc) will forever be full of pain. You are potentially ruining that day in the future should your romance go pear-shaped.
Had your anniversary not fallen on a day of celebration then that would have been a terrific idea, but it is on Boxing Day.
Plan with precision about your proposal, and before you splash the cash on a ring then I strongly advise you to start subtly bringing up the future with your lady so that you can gauge her thoughts.
On the subject of a ring then you should try to find out what sort of ring she likes, as well as her ring size, so that when you propose you have been thoughtful enough to provide her with an ideal ring.
Before you get carried away by the romantic aspect please remember that relationships need to be a two-way street.
For many the honeymoon period can be over as quickly as six weeks or never wane. I’m a firm believer of ensuring that once the honeymoon period peaks then ensure that you keep things at that level forever.
It sounds as though you are on a level plateau of keeping the relationship going. However, some romantic gestures and being attentive towards your loved one will keep the fire going. Although every now and again you may need to reignite the flame of passion, which with some pleasant surprises will bring a beautiful smile to her face.
You wouldn’t wish to eat exactly the same breakfast each and every day for the rest of your life, and the same goes for your romance. With your breakfast you would make some adjustments so that you still enjoy the same meal. In your partnership you can also introduce new aspects every now and again to keep the excitement going.
Before you consider proposing, my advice is to check that this lady is more than just your perfect romantic partner. She needs to be your best friend as you have to support each other emotionally, mentally and financially.
Consider whether your aspirations, lifestyles and values are at least similar because the transition to a committed, life-long relationship is a major step for everyone.
Obviously there will have been some friction from time to time over the years, which is inevitable. That’s not a cause for concern as any healthy relationship includes arguments, as long as neither of you verbally attack each other but instead focus on getting to the root of the problem to resolve matters.
I urge you, between now and when you propose in December, that you ensure you’re the very best you want to be. Make some minor adjustments if necessary to your well-being, your clothing and attitude so that she’ll see exactly how wonderful you are.
Remember that a marriage is a big project, which can become both highly exciting as well as challenging. Be prepared for your proposal and hopefully she’ll accept your hand in marriage with a fairytale ending.
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