I’m In Double Trouble With My Love Interests
Why not send former Kingston-resident Love Doctor your relationship queries? Use the form to submit your question(s).
After Valentine’s Day I’ve been torn by the attention of two men. They each sent me a card and said they want to see me.
I’m single and don’t want to play the field, I’m just undecided about which man to date. One works in finance, so lacks a sense of adventure, the other is the opposite and lives life on the edge but he’s maybe too much for me.
Should I take a gamble on either of these men or wait until someone better comes along?
Love Doctor’s Answer:
In reality you have answered your own question, because if in doubt it is best to go without.
Being single is often a better position to be in rather than being forced to lose your independence and compromise for the sake of things. Peer pressure is going to be the most likely reason for you buckling and entering a relationship.
It’s always a great feeling to be wanted, especially for a potential romance. However, you need to follow your heart – and to an extent your head – to decide whether you wish to enter a relationship with either of these men.
You’ve already stated their main flaw, or at least the one you are aware of. My advice is to compile a list of the six best things about each of these potential love interests. Once you have written these down, then simply see what can be cancelled then explore what you are left with.
By undertaking such a simple task means you will have one clear winner. However, you need to find a connection with your new beau, and this doesn’t always materialise during a first date. You should go on a second date to discover whether there’s potentially a romantic future for the two of you and not just because he might be your type.
I suggest that you make contact with whoever is the overall winner from your list. Let him know that you would be interested in getting to know him and give him two time slots when you are available to meet him. Don’t arrange exactly what you are going to do, let him be the man and come back to you with something to impress you.
If you are going to date the man in finance, then he will naturally be cautious as that’s his choice of career. So don’t expect anything too spectacular at the beginning. He’s the steady choice.
Should you be going on a date with the other man then it could be a bit wild. You will have fun, but he may be a bit over the top for you although you should give him a chance to prove his worth. He’s the fun choice.
If your two dates, with whichever man you initially pick, do not work out then you’ve possibly got a back-up plan by contacting the other love interest. However, he may be taken then and unavailable.
At least by going out on a couple of dates will determine whether you are ready to find romance. The simple litmus test is to ask yourself whether you have time for a part-time job, if you do then you have time for a relationship.
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