Dear Love Doctor

How Do I Become More Romantic? Help Me Love Doctor

Why not send former Kingston-resident Love Doctor your relationship queries? Use the form to submit your question(s).


My girlfriend keeps complaining that I’m not romantic enough.

We’ve been together almost two years and I really don’t want to lose her. What actions can I take to satisfy her by being more romance?

Errol, Mobay


Love Doctor’s Answer:

Love Doctor Monti - Romance and love advice
Love Doctor Monti

What she probably means is that you are no longer going out of your way to let her know that were thinking of her or springing a surprise, maybe with a gift without reason.

Intimate gestures mean more to females than males. If you can get her emotions flowing the same as when you first met, then the passion and deep affection will soon resurface in your relationship.

It doesn’t have to be true love to let her know that she is beautiful, both on the inside and outside. I suggest that you tell her, to show that you appreciate her. For example, when she sports a new outfit that makes her look even more attractive to you, simply pay her a compliment by telling her how the outfit suits her and that it goes great with her eyes/new haircut or whatever.

You may or not be aware of the so-called triangular theory of love that is based on commitment, intimacy and passion. Loving relationships should contain these three ingredients at all times to ensure it is smooth sailing.

Commitment | Short-term basis is that decision that you love each other. While the long-term commitment is to maintain that love.

Intimacy | This is the bonding by feelings of closeness and connection.

Passion | Physical attraction, romance and sexual consummation.


The word romantic, which originated in 17th Century England, was used to describe imagination and inventiveness. Nowadays, being romantic has evolved, and overall means going out of your way to express love and tenderness.

You need to make romantic expressions to distinguish your meaningful relationship from the other people in both of your lives, if you want to keep the spark between you.

An easy way to be romantic is by growing with her, by constantly making time for her to show that you truly care. When she sees this then she will take care of you too.

Let her know that she possesses that something special that makes you adore her. And because of this, the man you are is what no one else gets to see so try out these romantic gestures.

Top 10 useful ways to act romantically

  • Embrace her in a hug from behind when she least expects it.
  • Ensure that you sit on the same side of the table when you go out to a café or restaurant to improve your closeness.
  • Experience stargazing with some of her favourite snacks or drink.
  • Go for a long walk along the seafront.
  • Plan a night in of board games for the two of you.
  • Scribble down short love notes and leave them where she can easily find them in her home.
  • Send loving messages each morning and evening, so she knows you are in her thoughts.
  • Send her a song that reminds her of the two of you.
  • Surprise her by preparing a meal, either at your home or by taking it over to hers.
  • Turn up with a bottle of Champagne for no reason at all.

If you have realised that she is “the one”, then let her know how thrilled you are to be in loving relationship. There’s no need to splash the cash, just let her know through gestures how much you love and cherish her. Building up that closeness through being romantic will work wonders.

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