Can I Find A Perfect Partner To Complete My Life? Help Me Love Doctor
Why not send former Kingston-resident Love Doctor your relationship queries? Use the form to submit your question(s).
How do I start believing that I’ll find that perfect partner?
I’ve been single for too many years and cannot see things changing.
Delroy, Constant Spring, Kingston 8
Love Doctor’s Answer:
Things can change in the romantic department, and they will. But only if you start showing the belief in yourself that you are worthy boyfriend material.
Perfect is a big word to put out there. The reality that none of us are absolutely flawless means that your first change has to be stop having such high standards.
No need to just settle
I’m not suggesting that you drop your high standards so that you can starting dating for the sake of it.
Being alone can be daunting for many singletons, who then seemingly settle for virtually anyone. But then one of them will start to have their head turned and that means their relationship is on a slippery path.
Embrace being alone overall, start loving yourself and others will begin to be intrigued by you. But socialising is the only way to break the habit of being alone, find groups to join and potentially explore new hobbies.
When you meet single ladies with a common interest that is a steady foundation for a solid future, whether as friends or more.
Building a future
Be cautious about rushing into a relationship. Ensure that the lady you like is not on the rebound, because the last thing you want after a lengthy time alone is to feel used.
My advice is to build up the rapport with one potential partner at a time, and explore whether you could envisage yourself as a couple.
You need to decide what makes her a perfect 10 in your eyes, because you really don’t wish to keep having to repeat the process when she doesn’t add up to your high expectations.
Before you embark on even the early stages of flirting, you should utilise your precious alone time on creating the perfect you. It is all very well you seeking perfection, but are the flawless man that if you were a lady would wish to date?
Respect should be key
Let any potential partner see that that you show respect for yourself and others, because she will be seeking a man who will treat her well.
When it comes to traditional physical flirting – eye contact, handing out compliments, mirroring each other’s movements, reading body language, smiling, touching etc – then make sure that these are up to scratch. Body language normally gives the game away about whether there is a mutual spark.
Yet you need to be armoured with weapons in the dating world. Utilise introducing small talk, showing your intentions, learning some compliments to deliver, polishing up your humour and self-improvement.
Once you have found a lady where there appears to be mutual respect, then I urge you to prepare some compliments that are bona fide just about her.
Make her feel special
Not only will she realise that you have been thinking about her, but by making her feel special will ensure that she will realise her worth from your carefully chosen words.
For both of you the feeling of wanting to learn about each other adds to the excitement of a new relationship.
I suggest that when it comes to her finding out about you then focus you on the positive aspects in your life. Friends, family, health, wealth, interests and so forth. This positive attitude gives off positive vibes, which should ultimately attract people towards you.
By altering your mindset as well as yourself overall to be the perfect boyfriend, will instil much-needed confidence. Women find confidence in a man a real plus, as long as it doesn’t overflow into arrogance. And of course you will need passion to maintain a meaningful relationship.
Rome wasn’t built in a day, so lay down the foundations for a future with love and romance by making yourself fascinating rather than fussy.
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