I Need The Courage To Converse To Get My Love Life Back On Track – Help Me Love Doctor
Why not send former Kingston-resident Love Doctor your relationship queries? Use the form to submit your question(s).
I really need some help with opening lines with the ladies, as my love life has bombed and needs to be kick-started.
Ricardo, Cherry Gardens
Love Doctor’s Answer:
When it comes to flirting, there has to be some incentive for you to make the other person have the desire to participate into chatting.
Before you go for broke, I suggest that you pay attention to the details of the surroundings, where the lady is and how you can tempt her into a proper conversation even if it will only be brief.
The fear factor of rejection puts most people off trying to start a conversation. Most will look into their phone or wander off if you approach a stranger and try to chat them up unless you are blessed with devilishly good looks.
But you must realise that as well as the words you say, the way you deliver these is crucial. For example, the tone of voice, speed and volume. Although it needs to be appropriate to the surroundings.
An opening line, which invites a lady to share something about herself, tends to work wonders. An injection of humour also helps, so try these:
– “Do you find it sexy when a man makes the first move or should I wait for you to do it yourself?”;
– “I cannot figure out how I should begin this conversation. With a compliment about how stunning you are? Introduce a cheeky chat-up line or say a simple hi how are you? What would you prefer?” and;
– “Sorry to intrude, I couldn’t help but notice you. I wondered if you fancied some company for a quick drink?”
The reality is that although ladies will take immense care of themselves to end up immaculately groomed, most women would prefer for a man to actually be interested in who they are rather than just what they look like.
As men are purely visual creatures they are naturally going to be drawn by good looks. However, many men forget that looks fade over time yet character does not. Men tend to look at relationships for the short-term, in contrast ladies often prefer long-term partnerships.
Too many men believe that a highly sexual opening line will get them the girl of their dreams. However, the sort of lady who responds to these sort of cheap chat-up lines are not going to be the kind of woman that their mothers will approve of.
There is nothing wrong with chat-up lines if used as friendly teasing and joking around. Try these five quirky ones out:
– “Are you religious? It’s just that you seem to be the answer to all of my prayers.”;
– “Do you believe in love at first sight? Or shall I walk past again?”;
– “I would say God Bless you, but it appears that he already did.”;
– “If I ask you on a date, will your answer be exactly the same as your answer to this question?” and;
– “There’s something wrong with my cellphone… it doesn’t have your number in it.”
Flirting is about building up the emotional connection, which fuels both attraction and trust so enables you to spend time together on dates.
An old ‘trick’ that has worked since the 1980s, and gets incredibly positive results, involves bringing in a wingman. Once you have exchanged eye contact with a potential love interest then keep your distance and instead send your wingman towards the lady.
He needs to be close enough to be able to smell her scent. After he has exchanged smiles with her, then signals your time to make a move. You casually wander up towards her, point at your wingman then ask: “Is that man bothering you?”
Her most likely response will be no, so hey presto you are her knight in shining armour and can ask her politely: “In that case would you mind if I bothered you?”
Unless she finds you repulsive, is engaged/married or waiting for someone/with someone, then you are in all probability going to be invited to join her for a chat.
If you can be intriguing to her then that will be more important than looking like a hunk of a Hollywood actor. Some good opening lines that should start the conversation moving if you approach a lady include:
“It seems like there will be beautiful blue skies all weekend. How are you planning to take advantage of the sunshine?;
“You look like an outdoors person, so where would you recommend for a beach/a hike/a swim?” and;
“What sort of trouble are you getting into this weekend?”
If you know the lady, and have common interests, then that becomes much easier to ask her about these. A terrific opening line, for example if she is cricket fan but can altered to your mutual interest, which should get you a date is “Did you see that the West Indies won again? We should arrange to go out to celebrate their success, fancy Friday or Saturday?”
If you are going to be bold and ask a lady out on a date you must have something to offer her apart from your company. Be prepared to be give her two options rather than a yes or no response, letting her know that you are thoughtful and generous. Ideally you could ask: “It would be lovely to get to know you more, fancy going for a drink and a dance on Saturday night or can I buy you Sunday Dinner?”
Armed with these opening lines, chat-up lines and being direct to arrange a date should get you back in favour with the ladies. Should you not succeed then this will be down to other key factors that women value in a man, so check out this link : How To Flirt
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