Should I Stop My Secret Spending On Escorts? – Help Me Love Doctor

Why not send former Kingston-resident Love Doctor your relationship queries? Use the form to submit your question(s).


I’m in my 20s and live with my parents, I work in computer programming and I will admit I’m a real geek. Although there have been plenty of times when I’ve tried to go on dates, I always end up being friend-zoned.

Love Doctor MontiAfter I lost my virginity at a company awards night last year to an escort my sex life has been amazing. I now know that with a stunning escort I will have a great evening and it makes me feel good that I can introduce these women to friends and colleagues as my girlfriend.


I keep using escort agencies for sex and spending all my salary on these. It costs loads, but I get to choose any available woman from the website whenever I want. However, as soon as I get paid I spend, and all of the escort money goes straight onto my overdraft. Should I continue with escort agencies?

Love Doctor’s Answer

This sorry tale sounds as though you have lost your moral compass. You are in 20s and therefore sex is likely to be constantly on your brain. Before you resorted to using escort agencies you need to try to rewind to recall exactly what your previous attitude was towards those paying for sex.

At your age, being single and without the financial obligation of running a household life, can be carefree so you will naturally enjoy getting intimate with numerous different types of women.

You should consider this to be a learning curve as you gradually boost your confidence in order to meet more women in the real world. This is a build up to potentially finding love and romance.

Losing your virginity has undoubtedly taken away your sexual insecurity, but the thrill of doing so appears to have made life easy for you in terms of finding future sexual partners. Be cautious that your usage of an escort agency is only short-term fulfilment and doesn’t become a compulsive behaviour, otherwise you will continue for years hiding behind this quick and easy game you are playing. This hobby of yours is simply covering up painful emotions from the fact you hadn’t dated properly beforehand and were a virgin.

By picking a woman at whim from a website does not collate to the reality of life, but if you can only allow your overall interest in an escort agency to be short-term then at least it will help you to decide what sort of physical traits you will be seeking in a romantic relationship.


If you continue to feel lonely and insecure about women then maybe try talking to your closest friends. Escort women simply won’t have time to chat, as they work by the clock, and once their sexual act is over then they will surely attempt to get rid of you as soon as possible because that’s the nature of the business.

Seeing escort women will always be a costly one-way street, both emotionally and financially, but apart from the potential of contracting an STD the biggest flaw is that these experiences are never going to be long lasting.

Your parents will be amazed and probably extremely shocked if they were aware of your hobby eating into your overdraft. Can you afford to be potentially kicked out of the family home if they objected? Their moral views may be very different from yours, as they may believe that your hobby is supporting drug wars and/or human trafficking.

Now is the time for you to keep a secret journal about your spending and habit. You can keep tabs on this to see whether this is an addiction or a just a foray into new and exciting experiences. Either way you will learn from this journal and hopefully can wean yourself away from using an escort agency.

My advice is to cut down on your hobby and spending while you try to find connections with some clean-living ladies. With the coronavirus crisis it remains tricky to meet new faces, but social media platforms and recommendations of friends for an ideal date can come up trumps if you are patient.

You would be far better off spending your money on making yourself more attractive to ladies and treating yourself to something that you will treasure, such as a good quality watch. Learn some chat up lines  that are not too cheesy and ensure that you don’t try punching above your weight with the ladies. Your new-found confidence from using escort agencies hasn’t gone to waste, but if you desire a genuine and loving then you need to gradually move away from seediness.

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