Why women are their own worst enemies

I never thought I was ugly until I went to high school.

Before that I considered myself a fairly attractive girl. My female peers on a regular took jives at my appearance and one demanded to know in an Art class what those attractive boys saw in me. It was completely unfathomable why fairly attractive women would spend an enormous amount of time highlighting lesser beauties for social gratification.

But I could not blame them entirely for they reflected a culture of women who will quickly bash another female for the sake of amusement or gossip. Since my teenage years I have adapted a standpoint of being direct and candid with my female associates so as to cut out the undercover smear campaigns, gossiping and relational aggression. Once a female acts like a trouble maker, I avoid her like a plague not because I am afraid of being targeted but to steer clear of confrontations.

why women hate fight jealous each other
Image source: madamenoire.com

Women are each other’s worst enemies and anthropologists date our cut throat competitiveness back to our days in the Jungle when we would compete for a husband who could provide meals for our offspring.We are considered the gentler sex but any woman who has suffered psycho-emotional distress at the “mouths” of other women will let you know that women are rough. Their power lies in their mouths. There is nothing more toxic than a woman’s tongue. Even the Bible saith so…


“For the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil, but in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword. Her feet go down to death”. (Proverbs 5: 3-5)                                

A fat woman walking down the street can attest to having more women complain and highlight her weight issues than men. I have seen fairly voluptuous women being publicly ridiculed by other less attractive females over her weight. She is not fat but very shapely. It is not a lesbian thing, it is just a social battle, an architect of reassurance where a woman allows their self concept to be completely reliant on how unattractive the woman beside her is. . I have heard men say “wow” at a girl only to have several females lash out how the target of male admiration was either “ugly”, “shape bad” or some other negative comment.

Women do not admit it but we secretly hate each other and the “mix ups”, backbiting and “carry-go-bring-come” attest to that fact. A number of women (not all- surely not me) are of the need to be chosen over another woman. It means that despite us -all -having vagina that there is something unique and special about the woman who can “tame a certain man and that is why some of us have zero qualms about dating men in committed relationships. If we can break up his marriage then we think we have won something over the other woman.

There is no greater achievement than having a next woman stare at a particular female with envy. A popular theory claims that women do not dress so much to attract men but to incur the jealousy and recognition of other women. They might be right. Women will say ” she cannot dress like me, her hair not always done like mine and she no look good like me” as if that is suffice grounds for her man to be deterred from cheating on her with the ” she”. The idea of putting down another woman to increase chances with the opposite sex is mythical.

Girlfriends will hastily encourage the less attractive sister to wear clothing that they know does not look good on her and then we wonder why she left home like that. Her friends did not tell her because they do not care and the less attractive she is, then the more men will look at them. It’s so much easier to see each other as competition, falling for the same men and destroying one another in the quest to tumble in bed with him. This is nothing new. It has been going on for ages, it is just that the modern woman has redefined it. There was a time when men competed for us but now we will sabotage, hurt and even kill for them.

I’ve noticed some females are quick to dismiss Ishawna for her indiscretion and turn a blind eye to the abuse she claimed she endured. It is so much easier for women to blame other women when bad things happen in a relationship. I remember a forum once calling out Miss Kitty for supporting Busy Signal in a paternity issue he was facing with a young woman. My grandmother said that no woman should be quick to disgrace, denigrate or defecate on another female. The anger, impassioned statements and utter contempt that females are quick to heap on women in despair such as teenage mothers, rape victims and women in emotional distress highlight the hateful undercurrent women harbour for each other.

Mothers are very quick to claim that the child a particular young woman is giving her son is a jacket. Women will tell you that the biggest obstacles to their relationship have always been their man’s female relatives who will go above and beyond to paint or tarnish their image and insist that they are not good enough for their kin. It is quite ironic that the very female relatives who are quick to “dismiss” a woman as not being good enough have flaws and unattractive personalities that some other family would not want in their kindred.

Older women loathe younger women and vice versa for youth and a supple body are precious in this battle for the ideal but so too is experience and prowess. Older women will say that they can cook, clean and manage a home while young women clamor that they have supple bodies, puckered nipples and flat bellies without striation marks. It might seem the underlying resentment among women stems primarily from competing for the scarce, elusive ideal man.


Women harp that the only women with a happy, healthy social life are those who have platonic male friends. They say the relationship with their male colleagues is smoother and they do not have to worry so much about betrayal. They claim the worse thing that could happen was getting intimate with a male friend.

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Crystal Evans

Crystal Evans was born in Westmoreland Jamaica. She is the author of several books centered on her experiences growing up in rural Jamaica and the Jamaican cultural nucleus. She is a voracious reader.

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Marshalee Goodaz Thompson

TURTH – 100%

Many many women are exactly like this!

Freddie James
8 years ago

I like your article and there is much merit to what you wrote. Good job Crystal Evans.

Freddie James
8 years ago

I like your article and there is much merit to what you wrote. Good job Crystal Evans.

Jamila Johnson
8 years ago

So true girl I think that is why I mostly gave male friends soo sad. Though

Winston Christie Donald

Not only are women cruel to other omen , they envy other women’s children and their success especially those who live in the ghetto, working class communities and those below the poverty level.

Janet Margaret Davis
8 years ago

Great article and very true. I suffered many years of torment and abuse because of my looks and eventually decided enough was enough and refused to listen anymore but made sure I was ready with a quick answer to hit back at them and now I really don’t care what anyone says about me which is negative. After all it’s not my fault I look the way I do but my parents because they made me!!!

Mexicana Advoday
8 years ago

i like your article and i like how you took a stance with ishawna, but you mention before that women do not dress to impress men on the road, but to make other women jealous (paraphrasing), then don’t you think ishawna who i am a fan of by the way, is dressing to intimidate or make other women jealous who may not have such physique or privilege as she did or have? studying my history also doesn’t date back to any jungle as you mentioned of women living in the past but i do know, that it was men who… Read more »

Maureen Coll
8 years ago

Activities that reflect such strong insecurity among women…
The only thing that makes us feel better about ourselves is by tearing down the other person/ woman… Warped mindset to even engender and promote…
The secure woman compliments others, sees the good in others and is not intimidated by other women because she knows who she is and what she wants in life… She embraces the wide differentials that make our women, black, white, pink, yellow, green, tall short, fat or slim, beautiful!!! 🙂

Sonia Spence
7 years ago

Not all women are like that men are not spotless