Abstaining!!!: The Life of a Single Mademoiselle

My name is Ms. Jane Doe and I am single.

I enjoy my single life very much and try to make the best of it but I don’t believe being single for so long is good; I am almost 30 and my vagina does not take too well to it.

She cries all the time even though I tell her she has to wait until the right “penis” (the man I will share the rest of my life with) is available.  She continuously gets on my nerves especially right before, “that time of the month”.

I have been clean for some time now but I can tell you this, it is not easy choosing to abstain. However, God’s strength has been my hope and I am truly grateful. Who said, it isn’t possible to abstain? (Philippians 4:13)


You see my vagina use to be well taken care of by Mr. John Doe but he left and it was unbearably difficult for me. Whenever, he made love to me (for it was not just sex) I could feel love flowing from him to me and I wanted this forever.  

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When he landed the news that for him this was a casual affair, I was devastated because I was in this for more than that. He was a good man in my eyes despite his imperfections. God was still working on us both and I believed we were compatible on so many levels but sadly, he did not feel the same way. I was tied to him and even though he was now seeing someone else, I needed him, he was mine and I was hurt. I tried to see if I could share same with another man, Mr. James Doe who pursued me some time after but that failed too. As a matter of fact, he was as lousy as a sick dog and so I ended up with a contrasting double jeopardy.

Emotional turmoil, sleepless nights and tears were what caused me to truly understand why God says, stay away from fornication. I was now enrolled in God’s school of “you have gone way too far, it is time to get it together” and the learning began.  It is not because God does not understand that we have sexual desires and they need to be taken care of but it is to save us the pain of giving ourselves to someone who may not be for us, the pain of an unplanned pregnancy or contracting a sexually transmitted disease.

After all I have been through, I rather the pain of my vagina not being taken care of any day than to have it taken care of by a man who I am not sure will be, my forever. I had to go through a series of fasting and prayer and moments of cleansing to untie myself from Mr. John Doe. At the end of that journey of learning, I vowed that abstinence is the best policy and I would wait for Mr. Right.

A lot of hormones are released during a sexual act and there is one in particular called, oxytocin that facilitates bonding between the two. If the love-making was real good, there will be a higher affinity for bonding. For me, it was awesomely good and so I bonded very strongly with this man.

Am I ashamed of my past? Yes. However, God has forgiven me, I have learnt the lessons and I am a better woman now. I am more mature and responsible and I now know that I don’t only want a man I can connect with on a sexual level but one that loves me deeply, respects  me, who I can build a life with, a best friend  and one who I am mutually compatible with. I do not wish anyone the pain I endured and so I encourage you to wait for your husband.

So, vagina dear has to understand that she is a prized possession and worth far more than she could ever think or imagine and therefore, she has to wait for the right penis.


Until next time, be good and make God happy.

This author prefers to remain anonymous.

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