Jamaica – Make we Reason
Me know you don’t like talking to me sometimes because you think is just complain me complain. That’s why the last time we talk me tell you that amid the dysfunction, you still doing a lot of things right and me grateful that me belong to you. Today, me just wa’an hold a reason with you.
Jamaica, why every time visitors come to we isle the first thing you teach them to do is cuss? I was so ashamed last week when the missionaries walked to the pulpit, and tell the congregation how happy they were to be here spreading the word of the Lord among warm, welcoming, wonderful people who taught them a few Jamaican words like *****claate, *****claate, and more ****claate. Me don’t find that amusing!
Just like me a watch the JC/Holy Trinity match last week and see how you a jump fence and climb wall to go in when THE TICKETS WERE FREE! Why you must do that? Is the same thing you do every single Independence Day. Jump stadium wall and allow police to abuse you when Grand Gala Tickets give weh free. Something wrong with you?
And why on earth you so extra? From me bawn people a spell pickney name according to a common standard. Why you feel you must change the spelling of good, good Heather to Heada and sweet, sweet Bianca to Beehanka? You gwa’an and gwa’an till you all start name children after disease. Me poor classmate. Sorry Malayria.
And while we on the topic of names. Why your sobriquets haffi so unusual? Where you get nicknames like Cow Poke and Dawg Head from? And if you believe me a talk to you on social media with the names you come up with, you make a sad mistake. Please tell Stephen StakerBoy27 Stewart NOT to like me pics, and Samantha MeSweetButIfYouRampWidMeMiStabYouUP Thompson me not adding her as a friend.
And fi God sake, even if the adjectives you using to describe these people match them character, you don’t have to shout out tiefing Tara, liad Lizzette, smell bad Samantha, mix up Melissa when you see them in public. Have likkle tact ’bout you nuh!
And stop putting ‘Boom’ in the anthem. Tell that especially to the primary and high students. The words are NOT ‘Jamaica BOOM. Jamaica BOOM. Jamaica land we love.’
Me not even a go in a the way you express you self today. Cause me never go anywhere else in this world and hear anybody say, Reverse back the cyar, Sit down up straight, and Forward back.
Nor, have I been anywhere else and them have a dance fi every single day of the week. After you go Moggla Monday, Twerk Tuesday, Wine Up Wednesday, Tun Up Thursday, Frass Friday, Sexc Saturday and Soulful Sunday when you find time fi work?
Lastly Jamaica, cause me know now you start think is a rant me on. But you know how me and you stay JA, once me start, me get so passionate it sound like a fuss me a fuss. So, me nah continue. Me just a beg you one last time to tell the people them say everybody in the world cheer HIP HIP HOORAY, sometimes we can follow you know. We nuh always have to be unique with ours and go, Rah! Rah! Rah! Scoom! Scoom! Kaboom! Lightahhhhhh! and Scoobaeeee!
Until we reason again Jamaica — love you dearly.
Written by Keisha Brissette
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