Is Latest Love Interest Wasting My Time?
If you fancy sending your romantic relationship dilemma to former Kingston resident Love Doctor Monti, author of Journey To Find The Perfect Partner Forever, submit your question via our form.
Alternatively send a direct email to [email protected] or via WhatsApp to +385 97 655 8066.
Question:
I’ve been on three dates with this girl. I really like her because she’s a breath of fresh air, but she seems a bit tense every time we meet.
Am I wasting my time?
D, Spanish Town
Love Doctor’s Answer:
It’s often a doomed romantic relationship when one person shows flaws so early on. Usually the flaws start showing after three months, when the rose-tinted glasses slip off.
You have to work out why she is turning up for your trio of dates drunk. Hopefully you’ll discover that it’s only because she’s nervous of entering a new relationship.
My advice is to aim for a morning date that starts in a coffee shop and extends to a romantic stroll down the picturesque narrow streets in Spanish Town. Hopefully she won’t turn up charged, and you need to swerve this love interest away from any bars.
TRUE FEELINGS
Should she turn up sozzled, I suggest you initially support her and subtly try to find out why she has turned to alcohol.
Maybe she believes that by drinking she can release her deep seated emotions in your company, although these may not reflect her true feelings.
It sounds like she could have a drink problem, which you can easily determine if her breath smells of booze when you next meet as well as trying to explore why her previous relationships failed.
Alcohol lowers inhibitions and under the influence does not always guarantee the closeness that partners desire, instead it can lead to negative feelings such as detachment and disinterest.
Even though you’ve only just started dating, it’s best to broach the subject of the 2-2-2 alcohol rule without directing any criticism towards her. It’s imperative that you implement this yourself in order to set her a good example.
FOLLOW 2-2-2 RULE
This 2-2-2 rule is a simplistic strategy. It means a maximum of two drinks a night, never drinking on two consecutive days and limiting alcohol consumption to two days a week.
Sadly alcohol dependency jeopardises romances through such major factors as breaking promises, cheating, losing trust, lying, being secretive and generally becoming unreliable.
These are highly likely to ultimately result in arguments. If she’s constantly under the influence of booze, she could end up saying hurtful things.
Meaningful relationships require mutual respect and trust. So the only way to work out if your partnership could develop is to try and nip her drinking in the bud.
COMMITTMENT MATTERS
If she’s serious about you and perceives you as a long-term relationship then she’ll be committed to making a change and trying to follow your example of the 2-2-2 rule.
For her to willingly alter her alcohol consumption should lead to a healthier relationship.
Should she act defensive or offended by the subject of drinking, then you need to be prepared to accept her pushing you away because of her drinking shame.
You may be devastated by this, but will have swerved a massive mistake as you continue your journey to find true love.
Remember to share this article on Facebook and other Social Media Platforms. To submit your own articles or to advertise with us please send us an EMAIL at: [email protected]