Do I Tell Her About My Romantic Feelings?
Why not send former Kingston-resident Love Doctor your relationship queries? Use the form to submit your question(s).
Question:
I’ve been crazy about a beautiful lady, in terms of looks and personality, for a year now. I’ve not been brave enough to ask her for a date.
My heart skips a beat each time we spend time together. I sense she likes me romantically but I’m not certain about this.
I don’t want to lose her friendship. What should I do?
Rachid, Kingston
Love Doctor’s Answer:
One-way relationships will never blossom, and if you want to be involved romantically then you have to lay your cards on the table.
If you don’t let her know that you are potentially the man for her then she’s never going to consider you are the man for her.
You have obviously been building up a meaningful rapport and not throwing yourself into a relationship for fear of rejection.
To signal your interest, which will make you more socially attractive to this lady, then show devoted attention and use appropriate open body language.
I strongly urge you to suggest going out for something different from your usual rendezvous. It’s best to undertake something that encourages you to become physically closer. For example, dancing, playing sport or swimming will release endorphins, which will enhance pleasure and organically reinforce your social attachment.
You have to encourage her to feel good around you, so also throw in some flirting skills that are an art to perfect but worth the investment in learning them.
Your next stage of building a long-term relationship with this lady means that you need to persuade her friends and your friends to be supportive of your potential romantic partnership. This is simple to achieve. You have to prove that you can be there for her emotionally, physically and spiritually.
If you tempt her with your charms and genuine good intentions then please remember that you are trying to pursue a romantic relationship and not simply become her sexual partner. The only way to grow as a couple is by simulating a plethora of senses, which includes the mind, so suggest some things to do together to get her brain ticking.
Even though she may like you as a friend, and consider you to be special to her, it could be unrealistic of you to expect her to want to be romantically involved. If you are unsure of her intentions, then this is when a more direct approach is required to determine how she actually feels about you.
If you do have to be frank with your love interest, be aware that at least she will respect what you tell her. However, there are alternatives to getting out of the friend zone that you seem to have found yourself now trapped in.
Be prepared for what will happen if she pushes you away after you’ve revealed your romantic feelings. If there’s no attraction from her and she needs a break from spending time together, at least you know where you stand.
You can then move forwards rather than wasting any more time on your dream of being together.
On the other hand, if she wants to give it a whirl then you already have the foundations of a healthy relationship that can only be built over time.
A good partner will always help you better yourself and be supportive. This is what you need to constantly show her so that you offer long-term value to a loving partnership.
Don’t forget that true love does go beyond feelings and words. Real love is all about the actions when you are together.
A solid romantic relationship will grow if you can bounce off each other to maintain confidence, self-esteem and optimism.
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