Should I Repair The Damage From My ‘Fake-Up’?
Why not send former Kingston-resident Love Doctor your relationship queries? Use the form to submit your question(s).
Question:
My boyfriend and I created a ‘Fake-Up’ (a pretend break up) just before Christmas to keep our respective families happy and off our backs.
The problem is that he seems to have taken it literally and I’ve not heard from him since just before Valentine’s Day. He’s ignoring me and now blocked my calls, texts and on WhatsApp.
I know that he’s not dead because he continues to post on Facebook and Twitter. Should I just leave him alone or try to repair what we had for over a year?
Heather, Westmoreland
Love Doctor’s Answer:
That was a dangerous game to play by implementing your ‘Fake-Up’ to appease family members, who obviously frowned on your relationship.
Unfortunately, it sounds as though your plans have backfired on you and maybe he has been influenced by others so stopped all contact with you.
Peer pressure is never easy to cope with, but if he’s buckled and has even ignored you on the most romantic day of the year then sadly it sounds like your partnership has ground to a halt.
Some relationships simply run their course, and once the honeymoon period is over then the partnership is done and dusted. This is when the flaws, which were initially overlooked, suddenly come to light.
Maybe he enjoyed the freedom following your ‘Fake-Up’, or got his head turned by someone else. Whatever has happened, that’s out of order to simply block you rather than talk things through or discuss what he thinks has gone wrong. It is not worth trying to backtrack.
Overall, this kind of behaviour from him is churlish and unacceptable. To be frank you really don’t need this sort of drama and hassle. He’s not showing you any respect by blanking you, so I suggest that you leave him well alone and be grateful that you aren’t engaged.
There’s no potential for a happy long-term future for the two of you, so concentrate on yourself rather than dissect what went wrong. There’s plenty of promise for you to meet someone special.
It’s easier said than done to forget someone that you have been romantically involved with, but his mistreatment of you means he doesn’t deserve you wasting your time even thinking of him.
Obviously it will take time for your heart to heal over this relationship having ground to a sudden halt. I would imagine that your friends will tell you that you’re far better off without him and that it’s his loss.
They are spot on. Your attention and devotion is far better directed towards someone worthy of your love.
Avoid the prospect of bumping into him — so don’t go near his neighbourhood, his workplace, his usual hangouts etc — as otherwise that could open up wounds from you being hurt by his callousness.
If you want to bounce back from this upset then start accepting more invitations to go out.
Laughing and smiling with your friends will distract you from the heartache that you’re currently suffering, and it also offers you the perfect chance to attract someone new — but only when you are ready to embark on another romance.
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