How Do I Avoid Being Called A “Lizard Brain” Again? Help Me Love Doctor
Why not send former Kingston-resident Love Doctor your relationship queries? Use the form to submit your question(s).
Question:
I chatted up a woman in the supermarket but when I asked her out she turned on me, called me a “lizard brain” and stormed off.
I’ve never been called a “lizard brain” before and remain shocked by her outburst. I cannot ignore this insult and wonder what to do so that I am not repulsive to women in supermarkets ever again.
Clifford, Mandeville
Love Doctor’s Answer:
The term “lizard brain” tends to be used to make a case against monogamy or to justify cheating. So you definitely have reason to be offended by this lady’s words and actions.
She obviously got the impression that you were lusting after her, and got all emotional when you made the move that she felt overstepped the mark.
Maybe you need to reassess the way that you approach a lady in the supermarket, including the clothing and accessories you wear as well as the words you utter.
The term “lizard brain” refers to a lizard’s needs and their brain function, with the modern-day “lizard brain” reference to the limbic system inside our brains. This is only one part of the brain, but most importantly keeps us alive.
It is a primitive part of our brain because this covers such areas as fear, finding food and fornication.
Controlled by the limbic system, this area of the brain aids the formation of memories and emotional bonds.
As sexual beings we are driven by a plethora of reasons for being attracted to others that include connection, desire, fascination, peer pressure, status as well as looks. Men are visual creatures so looks are very important and logic is often overlooked.
It takes two to tango but ultimately any potential relationship is about meeting a kindred spirit in order to enrich your life.
When we follow our eyes, emotions and gut feeling – like you did in the supermarket – then there can be confusion, which leads to a negative result.
You must be fully prepared so that there is no repeat of this experience. I urge you to stick to the aisles where they sell meals for one, and only flirting with ladies who you believe are single – look for the tell-tale signs to avoid such as a wedding/engagement ring, children’s food in her shopping basket etc.
Make it blatantly clear from your attire, even though it is at a supermarket, that it is just a casual chance meeting. If you make an effort and can make an immediate impression then you stand a great chance, as ladies will always notice a well groomed man.
Have some chat-up lines ready, including some questions about food such as “I don’t suppose that have you tried this and could give me some tips what to cook with it?” and “What would you suggest is a good drink to enjoy this meal with?” Definitely avoid any innuendos.
Make her feel special by gently flirting by giving her some genuine smiles and appropriate compliments, so that she realises that you are interested in her romantically.
When she sees you smiling then those mirror neurons for smiling are expelled, so in all probability will start smiling back with the pair of you getting a smiling sensation in your respective brains.
And to help you land a date then remember that the mirror neurons in our brain play a vital part. By mimicking almost the same pose and actions gives off positive vibes that often relates to connection as these mirror the emotions and intentions.
Mirror neurons not only mimic the person that we are interested in, but also help us understand others by feeling. For example, when others show romantic interest in a person then our brains also get excited too.
Next time someone interests you then if you follow these “tricks” and can show the utter respect towards a single lady then you stand an excellent chance of arranging a date.
I suggest that for your first date you offer to cook her a meal to impress her, which will come across as kind-hearted and thoughtful, and you can then see if there are common similarities and values for you to progress with a relationship.
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