The Matthew Conspiracy – (A Lighthearted Read)

Matthew has been downgraded to a Tropical Storm due to poor performance in the recent H-SAT (Hurricane and Storm Atlantic Travel).

Word just in is that Hurricane Matthew was recently disqualified from the AHSDC (Annual Hurricane and Storm Destructive Celebrations).

An intense investigation into his high score of 5 revealed that Matthew cheated in the recent MAT (Meteorological Assessment Tests).

A background check was done which shows that he lacks the requisite foundation to properly navigate himself to specific destinations, even though his exam score puts him way above average passes.

  

It was also found out that he was high on hallucinogenic drugs which made him think he was already in Jamaica. Further waterworks exposed his addiction to salt water and an obvious allergy to Jamaican soil.

NOAA’s GOES-East satellite captured a visible-light image of Hurricane Matthew on Sunday, Oct. 2. Credits: NASA/NOAA GOES Project</cen
NOAA’s GOES-East satellite captured a visible-light image of Hurricane Matthew on Sunday, Oct. 2.
Credits: NASA/NOAA GOES Project

He has been stripped of his accreditations and now lingers hopelessly in the job market, hoping to pick up employment of frequent drizzles and strong winds across Haiti and Cuba.

His embarrassing involvement in a worldwide scam to pretend to hit Jamaica has not gone unnoticed. New head of FROCK (Fake Results, Once Caribbean Kings), Captain Borace Hurrell spoke today at a press conference and promised that “heads will roll” as soon as he gets to the bottom of this facade.

Palm trees and roofs were at hand and led a peaceful protest against the Captain but bread and butter were strong in their support for him. The future hangs dim for Matthew but one thing is for certain, Gatlin and Gay now have a new doping hero and have made their first public appearance since the Legendary Bolt struck them at the Olympics.

Candles and flashlights have both retreated and blame JPS for its role in this entire MATTHEW CONSPIRACY. Banks are upset that they have lost their daily fees for just opening their doors and have cited their disapproval to these impacting losses. The lazy manufacturing industry is presently putting together their analysis of the whole scenario but is yet to get out of bed.

Yet the most obvious display is the disappearance of politicians since the whole Matthew saga and makes one wonder what role they may have played in this conspiracy. Businesses remained closed except for the Chinese owned ones and as always, Jamaicans are the ones to pay dearly and the Chinese are the only ones to profit.

A Patriot to the end – Bad G. (Oakley Lyle)

  

Oakley Lyle is an author and poet – Visit his Facebook Page HERE

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Oakley Lyle

Oakley Lyle is an author and poet - Visit his Facebook Page HERE