These Nowadays Jamaican men are too Licky Licky

I get some of the most interesting perspectives on the street, at the hairdresser or at the public health center. You would be surprised at some of the subjects that come up among ordinary Jamaicans going about their everyday businesses. 

I had a rather interesting discussion with five older women (my mother’s peers) at the hairdresser this afternoon. We were talking about the “new breed of user man nowadays”. An older lady said. “You know first time you feel say a man ago use you, you a think say him ago s*x you and don’t link you back. Today these young men use you for everything… A supervisor in her rollers chimed ” From phone credit to buying clothes, gas put inna them vehicle and all manner of request them have. Then they give you sporadic sex to make you feel appreciated and obligated to them.”

I would not say that their opinions are far-fetched. It was only recently a classmate of mine,an attractive and intelligent young woman with her masters degree and good job informed me that her date who is a civil servant came out to dinner without any money. I almost “burst out” at the seams laughing. He explained that his money was used up on his son and that he did not have any to spare therefore she would have to pay for the dinner. My friend was appalled. She could not believe the nerve of this man and many women have shared similar horror stories. My friend demanded that I explain to her why she seems to only attract men “who a look smady fe mine them. Men who are more interested in her job description and salary situation. Men who are seeking a woman with money or some means of subsistence yet have no qualms about chasing other women with nothing to offer them. She was furious and if that was the case then she had every right to be.

What the hell was wrong with these men? Independent women do not deserve to be pampered, wined and dined like other females? Broke Girls attract men with money and women with money attracted broke men or men who were only broke when it came to them. One woman’s mean man is another female’s ATM Machine.

My hairdresser let out peals of laughter. She said she did not know how nowadays “man them so licky licky”. She said that she did not know who was more “licky likcy” a broke Fahriner or a Broke Hustler”. She added. ” A man will ask you for a phone credit and you send him it. Then you do not hear from him until the credit done or him internet finish. He probably sent half of it to some woman him interested in to impress her”

I know that situation caught me once. A young man called days before, being friendly after I had not heard from him in weeks only to beg for some credit to top up back his smart phone. I had to ask him what happened to those women he has been “whatsapping and Facebook Messaging these past weeks?.” I told him he should perhaps ask one of them to buy him a credit so that he could maintain the connection. I was not being harsh, I was putting my foot down, setting boundaries and reinforcing standards.

A male vendor selling Donuts and Gizzardas joined the conversation and said ” Women want to take the lead and them say them no want to live under no man rule so them become independent. Since them want take the lead. Them take it and gwaan.” A middle age lady who owned a business establishment offered her opinion. ” It is not that i would not want a man but these men cannot be trusted. I have no problem helping a man who is poorer than me but i don’t want no man take me for a fool. When you ago take my money and mine some girl who cannot help you then you better stay with her. Go look a job and stay with your ideal woman.”

What is really happening with this new “breed” a ‘licky licky’ Jamaican men? Where did they come from. I was sharing the discussion with my cousin and she said. ” These men nowadays think that if you working and making money that you do not want anything. They must not give you anything.” . She continued. ” When you a look man, look for the ones not too into themselves. The man who you see anno no pretty bwoy weh a dress off everyday. Any thrasher bwoy ago want minding and grown man clothes are expensive.”

A young Bank teller once told me if she had a dime for every man she dated who after a few weeks wanted her to borrow some money give them often a hundred grand or so then she would probably be rich. Today’s men are opportunistic. It is a new game and some women are using it as leverage over others by offering these men money and buying them stuff to keep them interested in them. So even though you might not want to spend your money, there are always some lonely, fairly attractive female desperate for male attention who will be willing to fork out big box to call a handsome man her beau. A woman whose bargaining power in that relationship is only as good as her spending power. What a life!

My hair dresser left me in stitches when she said. ” That’s why a lot of these young men end up going down the wrong road. Them too licky licky”. She turned her lips up in disgust and said. “I think the worst ones are the one them weh have them woman live with and still a beg. So how that work? If the woman not helping you? Why don’t you leave her? Imagine you end up a mine him and him woman and him couldas all tell her bout you to. What a disgrace! You having to pay for the same thing she gets for freeeeeee….

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