It’s Been A Long Wait But Do I Need A Partner?
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Question:
I’ve been single for 15 years and become independent by swerving any form of romance since my marriage ended.
All of my friends are settled, although I constantly hear about the drama they endure by being married.
I’m in my early fifties and being out of practice I’ve no idea how to meet a single woman. I’m not sure that I need to find love again.
Any pointers would be great for me to start looking for a partner for the first time since my twenties.
W, Spanish Town
Love Doctor’s Answer:
It sounds like you have carried the pain of heartache for numerous years, and peer pressure has got you chewing over entering another meaningful romantic relationship.
Most men are shallow when it comes to looking for love, but good looks fade while good character doesn’t. What you require is someone who will enhance your life, and vice versa, not some trophy girlfriend.
As you’ve been off the market for so many years, I urge you to draw up a list of five things that you can offer a lady romantically. You are looking at your value to her, but not financially.
You should also compile a list of what you are ideally seeking from a romantic partner, including the physical attributes that you find attractive. This is because you sound like a sensitive soul and therefore should be aiming to find a deep connection with a wonderful woman.
Finding a true soul mate is easier said than done. However, the first thing you need to consider is whether you have the time to take on a part-time job. This is because if you do decide to enter a new relationship, you’ll need to show commitment towards the lady and that equates to tackling a part-time job.
Men tend to age better than ladies in their fifties, but that doesn’t mean you should consider being a sugar daddy by trying to find a much younger lady. Age is not a factor when there’s a genuine connection and chemistry between a couple.
You must be realistic about initially looking for a new partner around your age, although you may stumble upon someone considerably younger or older than you.
As long as you have mutual interests and shared aspirations as your foundation, you can start to build up the love for each other affectionately, romantically and ultimately sexually.
A 13-year age gap is the ballpark figure for a relationship to last the course, but there can be a larger age difference if you’re experiencing more than just the companionship of kindred spirits.
You need to be aware that once you start dating, flaws are highly likely to revealed within the initial three months of knowing each other. This is when the rose-tinted glasses will have slipped off.
If you can accept each other’s idiosyncrasies, and being single for 15 years you’re bound to possess a plethora of these, your collective goal should be to see if you can last 12 months as a loving couple.
Before you embark on actively looking to find suitable single ladies, you need to ensure that you can give the best impression of yourself.
That requires you to dust yourself down and make sure that you are not emotionally vulnerable before you can begin a romance.
It’s also a perfect opportunity to give yourself a makeover. Not only will this deliver a feelgood factor, but it will also allow you to present yourself to potential romantic partners as the best you can be.
There’s no need to splash the cash or trying to project being someone you aren’t, because once you’re in a romantic relationship then it’s highly likely that your new love interest will attempt to mould you into her perfect partner.
However, you can follow my guide on how to dress for dating success. This will help you show respect towards your dates, and it paves the way to seeing a lady more than once.
It’s also imperative to cut your cloth accordingly, and being in your fifties there are ways to avoid looking old on your dates.
Armed with this information, you should scruntise my guide on how to meet single women and then make time to get the ball rolling for a potential romance.
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