My Girlfriend Keeps Saying She Is Working Late – Dear Love Doctor
Why not send former Kingston-resident Love Doctor your relationship queries? Use the form at the end to submit your question(s).
My Girlfriend Works Late, Or Does She?
Question:
My girlfriend keeps saying she is working late at work but my friend saw her with another man.
Should I confront her about it?
Geno – Port Antonio
Love Doctor’s Answer:
If your girlfriend claims she was working when your friend saw her with another man, then it was probably one of her colleagues or a company client. Ask yourself why you are having some doubts about her working late.
Should either of you have ever been cheated on or cheated then you definitely need to ask her about this but 100% not with an accusation. Explain that your friend spotted her and ask how the meeting went at the venue he saw her at.
You should start subtly paying more interest in her working life, but don’t suffocate her with questions. Simply ask her about her day at work and offer to help her with any problems she happens to mention as well as discover who her colleagues are. Should she start to get defensive about working late then alarm bells will ring, but you should both trust each other at this stage.
Best to send her a loving text wishing her good luck with working late and suggest picking her up or meeting for an after-work drink because you are missing her.
Make her appreciate you more by being genuinely supportive, that way her head should not get turned and she will be made to feel special.
Question:
I’ve embarked on a long distance Facebook relationship with a woman in Turkey who suddenly moved to Canada. Since the move I’ve been sending her daily poems but she hardly reads my messages and her replies to me are no longer caring. Does this mean I have zero chance with her?
Jason – UK
Love Doctor’s Answer:
Well she has definitely lost interest and with her curt replies is showing signs for you to be out of her life. It sounds as though you came over too emotionally needy with your daily poetry to try and woo her, which is not a bad thing when the lady knows you but often kills off relationships before they ever start unfortunately. Treat them mean, keep ’em keen is an adage for a reason.
My advice with writing to ladies, if you have yet to meet them in person, is to be more mysterious because less is more. With this particular lady the best way is to totally ignore her, because if she is interested in you then she will chase you. Patience is a virtue, and remember that both men and ladies enjoy the thrill of the chase. And with her move to Canada she may well have returned to an old flame, or moved with him. Best to play a waiting game to see if she wants you in her life, and if she stays silent then it is best to keep quiet too and move on.
Question:
I am a black woman living in Japan. There are only Asian men around me and I’m not attracted to them. As a result, it is difficult to date. I am 40 years old and I don’t think I will ever find someone to build a life with. I am also worried about the state of my uterus because I want children. I fear I will end up old and alone and become the cat lady. Hellllllp me. What can I do?
Margaret
Love Doctor’s Answer:
Having worked in Tokyo I’m aware that the Japanese are extremely intrigued by sexual relationships and like to settle down. Indeed you are surrounded by Asians as you are living in that region, but to dismiss all of them because you believe that you are not physically attracted to them should not end your search for romance.
To find someone special in life is never limited to specific skin colours, cultures, religions etc because love is all about connection and often occurs when you least expect it.
You didn’t mention what sort of man you are seeking, except for your next long-term partner to become the father of your child. You are severely limiting your options by being fussy, and if you become more open-minded will find plenty of men to flirt with in the city bars.
As a nation the Japanese are particularly loyal and loving in their marriages, if that is what you seek, so you will be pleasantly surprised if you take off your blinkers to get to know what Japanese single men desire in a potential mate
As William Shakespeare once wrote “There’s a Jack for every Jill”.
Question:
Hi Love Doctor, I have recently ended my relationship with my partner of five years, I now regret the decision, and now she has blocked me, and I can only contact her via email and Facebook messenger, she is ignoring my my messages, please help.
Paul
Love Doctor’s Answer:
For you to decide to end a five-year relationship was not done on a whim, as you mentioned that you ended it. You should not have regrets for doing so, as you made what you believed to be the right decision at the time.
Now that she has blocked you and chosen to ignore your messages means that either she is furious for you ending the romance, or that she has swiftly moved on. She has made a stance as far as she is concerned, and you appear to not be in her plans.
Best to lick your wounds and work out what went wrong, as in life we only learn from our mistakes.
Sounds like wishful thinking that you can turn the clock back to kiss and make up.
Strongly suggest you concentrate on a new romance, and forget this lady except for those good times you had.
Memories can be treasured but never recreated, and you should stick to your principles about why you ended the relationship as it probably ran its course.
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