Hair Creativity Has Dulled New Romance

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Question:

I’ve just started to see this guy and after two weeks he decided to sprout facial hair. I’ve been avoiding kissing him ever since because this scratches my face.

He looks awful with a beard, which smells bad, and I’m finding him less appealing. Should I ditch him and grab a better boyfriend or ask him to shave it all off?

F, Spanish Town

Love Doctor’s Answer:

He has probably altered his look because he’s found new inner confidence with you as his girlfriend. Although it sounds like he is oblivious to the fact that his facial is a turn off rather than a turn on for you.

Even though you are in the early throes of a romantic relationship, there needs to be some intimacy — such as kisses — to keep the sparks flicking between you two.

He could be either shy or respectful when it comes to kissing, by waiting for you to initiate these. However, he must have noticed that kisses have veered off suddenly.

Maybe he believes that the chemistry has evaporated and you two are going through the motions of being a couple until one of you ends the relationship as you’ve found someone else.

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER
My advice is to try and boost his confidence rather than going head on and telling him that you dislike his facial hair.

It’s best to give him a genuine compliment relating to his beard and moustache. Let him know that he looked better, fresher, younger or that you miss his soft skin.

What is crucial is to not make it sound like a big deal. Do make it clear that you preferred him without facial hair.

If he dotes over you and is respectful, then he’ll seriously consider your advice about shaving it off.

Yet if he says that he likes it and it suits him then you are best to ask his friends what they think of his new look. Men like banter and to tease, so you may have set the ball rolling for them to give him stick about his facial hair. This could lead to him thinking about getting rid of this growth.

TAKE A GENTLE APPROACH
If these two ways of tackling the dilemma fail, you’re best to confront him but don’t please tell him that it smells bad as that will dent his confidence and upset him. Simply explain that you have sensitive skin so would prefer him to be clean shaven.

Opening up the channels of communication is essential, although I urge you to use my tried and tested two-one trick. This is very simple, just give two positives before you convey the fact that his facial hair is a problem for you.

He should listen to you and act accordingly if he’s serious about building a meaningful relationship. You should be made to feel special, and if he cares for you then this won’t be a problem.

I suggest you reward him if he agrees to shaving this off by buying him a scented moisturiser or aftershave balm, which will ensure his skin smells nice and be soft enough for future kisses.

FUN AND GAMES FINISHED
There’s an obvious red flag from you that you’re already considering swapping him for another fella that you believe will be “better”. This sounds as though you’ve had your fun and games with this man, so are ready to move on and go your separate ways.

Swiftly finding an upgrade is not always easy, unless you already have your eye on a potential new boyfriend as you refer to your crush as “less appealing”.

Give your current love interest a chance if you firmly believe that you can develop a loving relationship.

But don’t waste his time or hurt him if your heart is not in it and his facial hair growth has simply triggered the fact you don’t see any future together.

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