Overpowering Cologne Is Driving Us Apart
Why not send former Kingston-resident Love Doctor Monti, the author of Journey To Find The Perfect Partner Forever, your relationship queries? Use our form to submit your question or send an email.
Question:
My boyfriend is a nightmare when it comes to aftershaves. He gets through them like crazy, and even sprays these expensive fragrances onto his clothes and onto his hair.
I bought him some manly cologne for his birthday and for Christmas, but he overdoes it every day. When we go out the aroma can be overwhelming, which is spoiling our time together and makes me wonder about our future.
How can I curb his enthusiasm for spraying himself so much with aftershave?
M, Negril
Love Doctor’s Answer:
Well it sounds like you’re wasting your money on gifting him powerful and pricey presents of aftershave. But don’t let his overindulgence cause a stink.
He may appreciate these, and of course it is a kind gesture by you, but he’s being carefree and reckless with the way that he uses his scent.
Maybe he overdoes it because he has a poor sense of smell, or he believes that he wants to create a long-lasting smell. At least it sounds like he is wearing these aftershaves when they are fresh, rather than stored for years.
SMELLS FABULOUS
Yet overdoing the aftershave and spraying it everywhere is a very common mistake. Just because it smells fabulous doesn’t mean that more is better!
You can always reduce the freshness of his aftershaves, destroying the potency, by ensuring that light and oxygen damage the perfume oils. When you get the opportunity, simply take the lid off to allow air to get in and ensure that you store the aftershaves in direct sunlight.
There is a way to correctly apply aftershave, which you need to teach your boyfriend as it requires finesse and being subtle. When properly applied, fragrances will last longer and smell better.
LEARNING CURVE
Without sounding as though you are teaching him to suck eggs, maybe it’s best to be in your boyfriend’s presence when you apply your scent. He will watch your every move, and hopefully he can quickly learn from you. If the penny doesn’t drop for him, then you’re best suggesting that he tries to “wear” his aftershave like you apply your perfume.
Men like guidance, rather than instructions, especially from a female that they respect. It makes males feel loved and cared for.
To correctly apply a cologne it’s imperative to only spritz the places where your body emits heat. The fragrant notes will develop quicker on the pulse points, which are the very back and sides of the neck as well as each wrist.
RUBBING WRISTS
Don’t rub your wrists together after the scent has been applied, as this could potentially disturb the molecules of the fragrance. Rubbing your wrists will simply heat up the skin to produce enzymes, which will alter the overall aroma.
Once your partner has got the hang of this, then you can discourage him from spritzing his clothing. It’s best to explain that using aftershave on clothing can cause damage and stains.
Inform him that natural ingredients in aftershaves, namely extracts and oils, when applied to clothing and accessories (like a leather bracelet or watch strap) may begin to smell stale after a while. Hopefully this will deter him.
SIGNATURE SCENT
As you’ve picked out these potent colognes, and he likes to overdo the fragrance, then maybe it’s time to suggest creating his own signature scent. That way these bottles will soon be finished, and you can start to replenish them with less powerful scents.
To achieve this he needs to layer his cologne, following the correct routine of how to apply a fragrance. It’s advisable to wear the lightest scent first, and then combine it with an aroma that enhances the overall smell rather than sport two competing scents. The extra absorption into the skin of two different fragrances will generate a long-lasting and bespoke smell.
With Valentine’s Day coming up soon, maybe you can choose a less powerful aftershave for his gift. If you’re after a woody, manly aroma that’s long lasting yet not too strong then I suggest checking out Dunhill colognes as a present.
SMALL BOTTLES
I recommend that all future aftershaves you gift are small bottles. This size will allow the scent to be enjoyed at its peak freshness, and should discourage your boyfriend from using too much on a daily basis.
Overpowering cologne can be off-putting for others when you go out. This can be annoying at bars and restaurants, because the aroma can affect people’s sense of taste and smell.
Men shouldn’t smell like a cheap tart. A rule of thumb is that men shouldn’t be wearing more jewellery than the lady they are with, and they certainly shouldn’t be trying to outdo a lady in terms of scent.
HAPPIER DAYS
If you can teach him how to apply and “wear” the right amount of aftershave, there’s no reason why you can’t return to happier days when you first started dating.
Although you state that these regular potent aromas are causing you to rethink about your future together, there’s probably a plethora of other reasons. The most likely factor would be that your honeymoon period is over, and you are seeing his flaws.
Familiarity breeds contempt. If you want to try and save this relationship then you firstly need to sort out his aftershave regime. Then you should collectively come up with some exciting future plans, so that the partnership isn’t stale and that you both have something to look forward to.
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