Dear Love Doctor

What Do I Buy Someone Who Has Everything?

Why not send former Kingston-resident Love Doctor your relationship queries? Use the form to submit your question(s).

Question:

This will be my first Christmas with my girlfriend. I’m getting concerned, as she’s from a reasonably rich family compared to me.

We’re in our late 20s, but she has almost everything she wants. Any suggestions on what I should buy her for Christmas, and how to pick gifts to keep her parents sweet?

D, St. Andrew

  

Love Doctor’s Answer:

The Love Doctor and his lady

Money can’t buy happiness, and it also can’t buy love. Far more important than trying to splash the cash on Christmas presents for people who seemingly have every possession they desire, is to show your caring nature.

Being attentive and thoughtful will pay dividends if you can truly think about suitable presents to bestow on them.

With respect to your love interest, I would advise you to have a chat about exchanging Christmas gifts. By doing so there won’t be an uncomfortable situation of her overspending this festive season on you, and then you underspending on her.

The best approach is to be direct, honest but ultimately romantic. Openly mention that you’ve noticed she seems to have everything, so you’re perplexed as to what to get her although you do have some romantic notions because you love and adore her.

Deliver two positives before landing this blow, which will be you suggesting a maximum ballpark figure of how much to spend on each other of say US$100 or US$150.

Maybe last Christmas you spent more money. If you did then be careful as you may find that your ex-girlfriend becomes extremely interested in what you’re doing this Christmas.

Forget the past and focus on the future, devote yourself to this new lady in your life with some presents that will be gratefully received.

  

Nothing is more romantic than a chic piece of jewellery for everyday use, because it means that she will wear it and think of you. Aim for something elegant and subtle rather than bling bling. Consider a lightweight bracelet, necklace and/or a watch.

If her jewellery collection is so impressive that anything from you would be dwarfed, then consider a leather handbag or purse.

Ladies love handbags, they can never have enough of these, but aim for a classic style that will be used with most outfits. Should your girlfriend already sport high-end handbags you must instead pick out an unusual purse, but stylish enough for her to use on a daily basis.

Whether it is a bag or a purse that you opt for as her main present, use the opportunity to include either a photo of you together or a photobooth image of you along with a loving message. She won’t expect to find either of this, but a bit of thoughtfulness goes a long way.

There’s tons of decorative products on the market that state the word love, which can be picked up at reasonably low prices. Aim to grab two different versions of these, which will reiterate that you love her and be displayed in her bedroom.

Anything scented is always going to be adored as another gift, whether it’s bath bombs, a small bottle of perfume or a set of aromatic candles. Ensure that the perfume is similar to the types she already wears rather than waste your money, and pick aromatic candles that can be used for creating a romantic ambiance.

On the subject of romantic ambiance, there are some bedroom gifts that would show how caring you can be. You could buy her an eye mask to avoid the glaring Caribbean sunshine in the mornings, a silk pillowcase that will make her skin softer or if you are courageous enough opt for some sexy underwear.

Also think about purchasing an alarm clock with a voice message facility. You can record your message for her to wake up and hear your dulcet tones, which is a loving touch.

You could also come up with some personalised gifts, with either her name or a unique message. The choice is yours but it could be a box of chocolates, a set of cushions, a keyring, a pen, a pair of pyjamas, a t-shirt, a wine glass (don’t forget to get a bottle of wine too) or whatever you think she would like best. Just one personalised gift will suffice, but try to make it the perfect choice.

  

You can also show her that you have enjoyed such good times together and want to make more happy memories. Buy a photo frame and insert a special photo of you both, alternatively turn that memory into a canvas print that will hang in her bedroom.

Finally, the cheapest but most adorable gift is a Love Message Jar. Grab an old glass jar, decorate it with ribbons and a label that says “Love Message Jar for (insert her name)”. Inside you need to fill it with some rose petals and short messages written on small pieces of paper, which explain why you love her so much. Do fold these in half so that no words can be seen. She’ll undoubtedly spend hours sieving through these messages and putting them back into her personalised Love Message Jar.

With respect to her parents, they won’t be expecting anything over the top from you so don’t fret about their Christmas gifts. Just don’t forget that all parents envisage the perfect partner for their children.

Her father will probably be delighted to receive something, however small, as a token gesture from you.

His ideal present needs to show you put some effort into choosing it. Either opt for a book on something that he’s passionate about, and add an inscription on the inside, or order some personalised drink coasters with his first name and favourite tipple on.

Her mother will simply be grateful not to receive a present that reiterates she is a woman, so definitely avoid anything for the house —  especially the kitchen.

Either go for an eye-catching indoor plant and vase, which she will find space for, or purchase a diffuser with essential oils for an equally thoughtful gift.

The feelgood factor over the festive season is about both giving and receiving gifts. Armed with some suggestions that will fit into your budget you have the perfect opportunity to both melt her heart and win over her parents.


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