How Do I Finally Shake Off My Ex?
Why not send former Kingston-resident Love Doctor your relationship queries? Use the form to submit your question(s).
Question:
I’ve been dating since February. Last week I got a blast from the past with a former girlfriend wanting to get back together. She’s suddenly single again and seems keen.
Obviously I’ve moved on emotionally, and I’m very happy with my latest squeeze from Kingston.
I’ve told this ex-girlfriend to please refrain from contacting me because I’m in a solid relationship now. I blocked her on everything apart from email and now I’ve been blocking her emails, but she just keeps on creating new email addresses to contact me. What’s a good plan for me to shake her off?
Darik, St. Andrew Parish
Love Doctor’s Answer:
This sounds as though she is desperate to try to rekindle things with you, but maybe that is because she’s emotionally needy following her recent breakup.
There’s always a reason why people part, and it’s ill advisable to try to rekindle what you had the first time round as it will only ever be a diluted version.
Your world’s need never collide again, unless you have deep-rooted feelings for each other. Yet it sounds that you are over her and moved forward in your quest for true love and romance.
It is always sensible to block any ex-girlfriends because, as much as you had an amazing time together, it is well and truly over.
Once it is done and dusted then it’s pointless looking in the rear view mirror, just live and love for now. I advise you to focus on the future.
As she keeps sending you emails, then I suggest the next time you receive an email is to send a photo of yourself with your new lady. She will get the message then, and hopefully leave you alone.
The other method, if she is a decent human being, is to be direct and honest with her. Explain that you have a new romantic interest, obviously you don’t need to reveal anything about her, and that you would like to 100% concentrate on her.
Tell your ex-girlfriend that if she was in your new lady’s shoes then she wouldn’t want any former flames being in touch. Especially any that wished to try to repair the former relationship. Ask her to respect your decision and leave you to enjoy your new-found romance.
Let her know that you immensely enjoyed your time together, but that was the past and you have moved on both emotionally and romantically. Ask her to accept this, and wish her well in finding her “someone special”.
Don’t allow your communication to go back and forth, she’s bound to be keen to reminisce about how wonderful you two were together and how it could all work out next time.
You need to ignore her desperate pleas. It’s best to draw a line under that failed relationship, and don’t allow her to take your time away from your new lady.
It appears that just because she’s newly single that you are an easy target. This is time to protect your latest relationship, and your new lady, so that you can enjoy a drama-free life. Relationships won’t work with three people, just two.
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