Should I Show My Football Crazy Boyfriend The Red Card?
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Question:
My long-term boyfriend effectively banned me from seeing him during this World Cup tournament because he’s football crazy.
He won’t communicate with me during games, not even at half-time. It’s driven me nuts. Although it’s not over until the week before Christmas, the only passion in our relationship is his love for football.
What’s a girl to do when I’ve been so lonely?
Bridgette, Hanover
It certainly sounds as though you want to give him the boot, as he is picking football over you and there is zero passion. It doesn’t sound like a blossoming relationship.
Just as well that Jamaica’s Reggae Boyz are languishing. They could soon be on an upwards curve, so you have been given advanced warning.
Obviously it must be extremely frustrating to have to sit on the sidelines while he watches international games from Qatar. The kick-off time difference has certainly meant that it would be near impossible for him to go through the day without hearing the result, which has ruled out him watching the game later.
I’m assuming that this is the first time that you have experienced this kind of behaviour. I hate to inform you that this occurs every four years, next time the tournament is being co-hosted in Canada, Mexico and the United States. There’s an increase in the number of teams being involved, so expect the Boyz to be battling it out in 2026.
That does give you four years to kick him into touch or show him the red card and send him off and away from your attentions.
With so few games left in Qatar, you will soon have a fantastic chance to spend some valuable time with your partner. Once over, this is the perfect scenario to calmly explain how you felt badly neglected.
You can either go in there screaming, shouting with full-on criticism. However, that will put him into a defensive mode and potentially could lead to some harsh words between you. Negative energy is a waste of energy, so instead tackle this in a calm manner.
I advise you to do some research – whether through family, friends or work colleagues – about the next few matches. If you can show an inkling of interest in football, and even refer to it by using the well-known expression “the beautiful game”, then you might turn his head.
Unless you want to run away from this partnership, then try and be enthusiastic about the handful of games and show some genuine interest. You may even end up watching a match together, especially if you suggest doing so.
Regardless, you must explain to him your immense disappointment that you have been left out of the equation during these World Cup finals. You need to have a serious talk and explain that if the boot was on the other foot then how would he feel?
If you want his relationship to move forward then he has to be told that overall it’s been totally unacceptable of him to ignore you so much. A heart-to-heart discussion, and getting him to realise how you felt is the first step.
If he shows zero empathy then I strongly suggest that you have a break. He can’t just pick you up and put you down because of the tournament.
Initiating the break will give him a taste of his own medicine, as long as it’s not too lengthy, and hopefully he will begin to not only realise the error of his ways but hopefully he will also value you more.
At the end of the day you both need to compromise, and to ensure that a loving relationship can develop.
If all runs smoothly after your tete-a-tete, and he can see that he shouldn’t have put you second to football, there are ways to show that you are devoted to him that should put a massive smile on his face.
There’s the option to try and get something humorous printed on a mug or t-shirt along the lines of “I love football more than my girlfriend”. He would then be constantly reminded of how much it hurt you.
You could alway bake a cake in the shape of a football or in the colours of the two finalists. But if you go to that sort of trouble then you must be bold and tell him that you would like to see the match together, as you’ve made a cake – send him a photo of it because the way to a man’s heart can be through his stomach.
Another possible way forward is to suggest that you both go to watch a live match, which is an extremely different experience than watching it in a bar or at home.
Should your boyfriend be simply using the fact that he wants to watch the World Cup games as a lame excuse that he’s really just not that into you then kick him into touch. Be upset and suggest that next time he finds a girlfriend who’s also an avid football fan.
If you get things resolved but realise that he won’t alter his ways then it’s time for you to blow the final whistle, opening up the opportunity for you to find a man who can truly appreciate you.
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