Should I Follow The Advice And Never Make A Pretty Woman My Wife? – Dear Love Doctor

July 24, 2021July 31, 2021 Neil-Monticelli Harley-Rüdd

Why not send former Kingston-resident Love Doctor your relationship queries? Use the form to submit your question(s).

Question:

I heard an old song the other week that went “If You Wanna Be Happy For The Rest of Your Life Never Make a Pretty Woman Your Wife”.

What’s your take? Should I really aim for an ugly-looking woman to be my forever woman?

Omario, St. Elizabeth

Love Doctor’s Answer:

Love Doctor Monti I am assuming you are referring to Jimmy Soul’s 1963 smash “If You Wanna Be Happy” that was based on the 1930s’ tune “Ugly Woman” by suave Trinidadian calypso singer/composer Roaring Lion (aka Rafael de Leon).

This novelty song you heard caused controversy for the offensive lyrics at the time, and in this day and age would prove even more contentious.

The premise of the song was that a particularly unattractive looking woman will always make a better wife as she will be homely and accommodating. Whereas a lady who appears beautiful to others is likely to be too high maintenance, will attract the attention of other men and will therefore cause you constant heartache and pain.

Part of the lyrics claim that an “ugly woman” will cook meals on time whereas a “beautiful wife” makes you seem smaller in comparison and break your heart.

The song goes “If you make an ugly woman your wife, you’ll be happy for the rest of your life. An ugly woman cooks meals on time, And she’ll always give you peace of mind”.

These were chauvinistic lyrics at the time and were tongue-in-cheek advice even back in the swinging Sixties, so despite becoming a no.1 hit it was not truly devised for guidance.

Marrying an “ugly girl” just because she’ll do everything that she can to make you happy is a fallacy. The fact that she’ll cook well and be faithful just because you have offered her the lifetime of happiness by putting a ring on her finger is a joke.

Remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it should be the whole package that is measured. So a drop-dead looking lady with a less than favourable personality is not going to be deemed beautiful overall, whereas an average-looking woman with a sparkling character is likely to be much more attractive.

The problem is that we live in a judgemental world, where we dismiss people within a few seconds on their appearance so often fail to peel off the layers to discover their character and personality.

So there is no need to only look for women who turn heads like swivel chairs just because she is a stunner. You need more than a one-dimension relationship if you wish to be happy.

Ugly is such a harsh word, and should only be used if the personality is really dreadful again and again. Otherwise you are best to believe, like I do, that every woman is beautiful in her own way.

Romance is all about connection rather than sexual chemistry, as you desire a long-term relationship. My advice is to seek someone who leaves you in awe with a sparkle in her eyes and a gorgeous smile that lights up your heart. She may not initially boast the most wondrous external appearance, but beauty is a pure and non-sexual thing. It derives from a combination of her confidence, personality, physical attraction and smell/scent.

When you are fortunate enough to meet a lady that you genuinely find truly beautiful from these four categories then it will bring you the feeling of being in love – namely inexplicable, pure and strong.

Finding the right lady to marry requires dedication from you. Whether she has catwalk looks, or her slight imperfections gradually become a perfection because her love just fits with you, then you can be happy for the rest of your life if both of you can constantly display dedication, stay loyal, show respect and maintain trust.

I reiterate that beauty has nothing to do with appearance, only the heart.

“If You Wanna Be Happy” | Lyrics
If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So for my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So for my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you

A pretty woman makes her husband look small
And very often causes his downfall
As soon as he married her and then she starts
To do the things that will break his heart

But if you make an ugly woman your wife
A-you’ll be happy for the rest of your life
An ugly woman cooks meals on time
And she’ll always give you peace of mind

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So for my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you

Don’t let your friends say you have no taste
Go ahead and marry anyway
Though her face is ugly, her eyes don’t match
Take it from me, she’s a better catch

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So for my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you

Say man!
Hey baby!
I saw your wife the other day!
Yeah?
Yeah, an’ she’s ugly!
Yeah, she’s ugly, but she sure can cook, baby!
Yeah, alright!

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So for my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you

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