Why not send former Kingston-resident Love Doctor your relationship queries? Use the form to submit your question(s).
I’m confused and sad as I find myself in a ‘love triangle’ with two men I met ages ago. The love hasn’t started because we’ve only been chatting and never even kissed.
The coronavirus crisis across the island means my options for romance are very limited, but I don’t want to get hurt and I don’t want to hurt either of these men. How do I tackle this situation?
Ashia – Clarendon
Love Doctor’s Answer
A ‘love triangle’, often depicted in Hollywood movies, is a fairly common issue although tends to be a problem when one of the trio is married. However, a genuine ‘love triangle’ only exists when there is reciprocation and at this stage of only chatting it is difficult to gauge what your state of play is.
Put bluntly you are presented with a straightforward choice of two gentlemen, and by speaking to both have – maybe because of the obvious lack of socialising – been hedging your bets until you have made your awkward decision as to which man you wish to pursue.
All depends on whether you prefer to follow your heart or head to solve this dichotomy. My advice is to look at your relationship history to see which route you have followed in the past, and whether you honestly believe that worked out as the best decision.
If following your heart has ended in tears over the years, or vice versa with your head, then I suggest a change of plan is needed – with this being a golden opportunity to improve your romantic life.
My initial advice would be to heavily pursue the second gent that entered your life, because if the inaugural man had captured your heart and interest enough then you certainly wouldn’t have entered conversation with the second one. This subsequent man caught your eye or turned your head to such an extend that you were happy to become embroiled in conversation with him as well as the original potential love interest.
On the other hand, if you are unable to make up your mind about which gent to entertain romantically, then be aware that things could fizzle out and if you are unconvinced about both then it is best to wait for your prince charming.
What started out as exhilarating fun, and no doubt boosted your confidence and ego, will have gradually become risky.
Yet if you do pick one of these gents, should your relationship fail to work out as you hope it is not guaranteed that the other man will be hanging around to be your back-up despite being in a lockdown.
It appears that you are ultimately going to have to reject one of these gents, but as any relationship has yet to begin then it will be over before it has started for one of these men.
Unless you are all extremely adventurous and fancy a ménage à trois, then there will be some hurt for the man rejected. But at least you can continue guilt free with the one gent that you have picked for a potential relationship, and it is best that he never learns that he had a rival for your affection.
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