St. Valentine’s Day is here, yet if you are single and seeking to find love in Jamaica there is help at hand.
England-based Love Doctor Monti, who has offered his prescription on how to find and maintain romance since the age of 13, has advice about Cupid and not just on the world’s most romantic day.
Love Doctor Monti, whose real name is Neil-Monticelli Harley-Rüdd, runs a dating service called Rightflirt.club that helps pair up singles at events and on overseas holidays. He used to live and work in Kingston, as an editorial consultant with both the Gleaner Company and the Observer Newspapers.
And with his sprinkling of Caribbean heritage – Cuban and Jamaican – his words of wisdom have poignancy for those in Jamaica.
He said: “My first advice is know your value before embarking on a relationship.
“Many singletons will see someone who is out of their league in terms of looks, age or financial clout. Yet they wish to pursue that ‘prize’ for the sheer thrill of the chase.
“You must know your value as a potential partner and what you can offer, both short-term and long-term, before embarking on a potential meaningful relationship.
“Be realistic in assessing your value and what you can offer to prevent wasting your time, money and effort chasing someone who will never be interested in you.
“Remember the expression of ‘birds of a feather flock together’ before wasting energy chasing the impossible.”
He revealed the biggest mistake that he believes many make by politely advising singles to “not rush into a relationship as love is long-term and lust tends to be short-term”.
He explained: “Be patient, don’t try to impress too soon. Best to allow the relationship to develop into a slow-burning romance, which is easily achieved by showing respect at all times and gradually growing as a couple.”
He advised that by not continuously doing the same activities as a couple, but trying to introduce something new, will keep the romance sparkling.
“For those eagerly seeking their next fix of feeling good – thanks to those neurotransmitters of dopamine and serotonin – will soon realise that it is just lust.
“That means the relationship will only run a natural length of time before it starts to fall apart, and no more wants to be on a relationship merry-go-round.”
The Love Doctor is adamant that etiquette and good behaviour pays off, and he reminds people not to be complacent: “Eye gazing, listening, nodding and smiling goes a long way.
“Learn to build up a natural strong bonding through these simple actions to kick-off the relationship with genuinely caring behaviour. The combination of these are extremely powerful and will keep your romance alive.
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