Are Relationships With ‘Bad Men’ Secure? Why Do Some Women Love Them?

A male friend of mine sent me a link on You-Tube for a song by controversial Dance-Hall artiste ‘Alkaline’ titled “How it feel”.
The raw version of the song conveys that women love to have relationship with  bad men, gangsters and thugs. The lyrics state that ‘bad man’ give women ‘one hundred percent security’ in a relationship. It is an interesting concept but relationships with alleged bad boys are anything but secure. 

How can a woman feel secure in a relationship with a ‘gun man’ and be safe when she has to be constantly looking over her shoulder for reprisals from people he might have hurt and rogue cops carrying out extrajudicial killings? How can you be secure and build a future with someone who might not be around to see your children grow up? A man in possession of a gun does not mean he will be able to save his woman’s life or better yet ward off several intruders. 

why women love bad boys criminals thugs
Women admiring a ‘Bad Boy’ – Image Source:

But the truth is women who date gangsters and bad men are not thinking about death. They are intrigued by their confidence, the contrast between the ruthless social image and the loving partner he often is to them. Some females find the  “Alpha Maleness” of alleged gangsters appealing and the thrill associated with their dare-devil lifestyle exciting. Some girls love the drama, the beatings and the powerful feeling of conquest when they get a bad boy who is “mean a road” but “loving” to them. After all bad boys have hearts too and it takes a strong woman to “calm them down when’ them a rage’. Some ladies say guns are an aphrodisiac and are aroused by a man with  a firearm, legal or illegal.  

Girlfriends, wives and baby mothers of bad men know they play a dangerous game of karma. A few cases of women and children murdered with their bad boy father brings to the fore the grim reality of these unions. Pregnant women killed with their alleged gangster baby fathers, children of alleged murderers abducted and women going to jail as accomplices to crime. The fact that the woman knows means that she is more or less accountable for the wrongs her man perpetrate. Bad boys offer everything except, ‘one hundred percent security’. 

 “You alone understand me devilish ways…You don’t know how much man out deh you save when me go fe one a them and you tell me behave…me no bother want fe dead and me no bother want fe go a jail”

Bad boys create recurring generations of career criminals. Mi granny always say be careful who you have children with, Guinep bring Guinep not Grape. Children sometimes suffer ill fated lives brought on by karmic consequences of the actions of their fathers. 

Bad Boys are a fetish for many women brought on supposedly by the cinematic and literature ‘hero’ portrayal of gunslingers. Different strokes for different folks and women have been known to have relationships with serial killers and convicted murderers. Gangsters need love too and their women will tell you that not because he has a gun, it does not make him a killer. 

A badman depending on how damning his reputation is will deter offenders from his family or his home thus providing a sense of security. Society has long called upon girlfriends, wives and baby-mothers to say what they know of their partners in an effort to curb crime and bring perpetrators to conviction. Some experts question the psycho-emotional state of women in these relationships and declare that girls from broken homes and dysfunctional families are more likely to be involved in such unions’. 

Do you think badmen give their families and women security? Share Your Views.

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Crystal Evans

Crystal Evans was born in Westmoreland Jamaica. She is the author of several books centered on her experiences growing up in rural Jamaica and the Jamaican cultural nucleus. She is a voracious reader.

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