She was only angry at him temporarily.
Soon he would convince her of his love and paint our liaison as inconsequential and she will believe him. Then she will turn her wrath upon me, the woman who won’t walk away and let her relationship be, forgetting and forgiving the man who betrayed her in the first place.
She will give him a slap on the wrist, reclaim her brittle wifey status while her man buys another phone card to convince me to stay with him for whatever flimsy, selfish reason he comes up with.
He texted me earlier. ” U just stay bad u always a act like I’m a nobody. But wat is to b must b an wat is for u you’ll get”.
I didn’t respond. I knew this game all too well. So I waited patiently, knowing that silence from a woman tugs at a man’s heart and he will want to make it right before he sleeps.
Dre: wat u want from me am trying my best to mek this work but is like u nuh see”
Saf: exclusivity, loyalty, commitment and transparency… Tired of you telling me one thing and then evidence surfaces that suggests otherwise.
Dre: the gyal just mix up and torment look how long me and har no chat. Saf: that’s what you say… Last week you pushed me away for her. you say me make you unhappy so leave me alone.
Dre: An when me seh me unhappy a just the argument me can’t take. It make me head hot me. Me did know seh u never really care about no relationship u just did want a baby me always tell u…
Saf: I do care. I won’t allow her to undermine our relationship. I am not the enemy here. I didn’t betray her, you did. And in some small part of my mind, I fear you will do the same thing to me that you’ve done her. Now she like many women launches a smear campaign against me to highlight or punish me for the man who betrayed her whom she is still very much in love with… I am not the enemy. I wish she knew that. I am not suppose to be loyal to her, you are…
She finds it easier to hold me accountable than to accept your unfaithfulness. Why she expects me to be loyal to a non relationship, one I didn’t know exist is completely unfathomable. Yet she holds me at a higher level of accountability than the man who cheated on her. I pity her…
He responded. ” Don’t cuss me. Go cuss her. Stop put me inna the middle like a me a cause the problem”
I scoffed. ” you are. If me and you never inna business me wouldn’t even remember say she exist”
He replied. ” This relationship a go the wrong way. You know she was in my life”.
I shook my head and made angry punches on the keypad. ” Why has she agreed to stay with you? What you tell har say? You denied her. So you deny me. I have proof that you never told me about her so stop deny it”.
I sent him an “LOL”. ” You never told me about her but it doesn’t matter now. For a tiger doesn’t lose his stripes. I learn something that she will never be all that you need for she lacks something very crucial to your relationship ideals. There will always be other women. She a spend so much time a try punch holes into my security with you and forget to seal the cracks in her relationship with you. The same cracks that send you into my bed and that of others.
He sent me a heart emoticon. ” No bother with that now. You a make me head hurt me. You alone me want. One woman me have and a you”.
I laughed. I wanted to believe him but I couldn’t. I kept remembering how his eyes were when he spoke angrily at me the other day. Somehow I believe when he is angry, he is being brutally honest.
He sent another message. ” A don’t know what more to do to please you. You no see me a change. Sometimes you make me do some things me haffi wonder”.
Another message read. ” You want me do all kinda things. You just want rush me life”.
I shuddered. I wanted to cry again but my dam was dry.
I replied. ” Gwaan go make yourself happy. I am tired of you blaming me for your unhappy life. A tell me how me mash up your life like a you alone life has changed since we start date”.
I closed my eyes and the tears came. They were salty, felt good to let them go. The insects sang their night tune and my broken heart would not heal. I mused if I died tommorrow morning, he would go back to her in a heartbeat.
The phone chimed. ” Am sorry Saf. Me a change. Me change fe you. Anno you alone have this problem with me. Every woman have this problem with me. Me relationships them don’t work out and me don’t know why. It’s like me mental.
I burst into peals of laughter. He was luring me into his insane world.
He sent another text. ” Me a mad man. You want a mad man fe deh with?”
I grinned… He has so many layers. Leaving him is never easy, his personality intrigues and irritates me at the same time. His depth in one instance an his callow shallowness in another. If he was born into better circumstances, he would have been a stalwart.
I replied with a heart emotican. ” Me mad to”.
“Anno me fe loyal to you, Go check your Man -Cecile”
Excerpt from Crystal Evan’s New Novel The Bunna Man