Late Bloomer Still Early

Low self-esteem has been shown to be correlated with a number of negative outcomes, such as depression (Silverstone and Salsali, 2003).

In my case it caused lack of zeal to succeed, confusion and minimal self will. Mental imprisonment is a perfect definition of the dilemma this country girl faced from childhood into adolescence. Feelings of low self worth prevailed in my mind, so much that I did not give eye contact when speaking to anyone, fearing that they would see the weakness inside me through my eyes. Up to the tenth grade of high school…no breast development, no menarche. Delayed puberty perpetuated feelings of worthlessness. Recent research suggests that the mind can affect the development of the body.

Adolescents go through rites of passage, as they enter adulthood that can have great consequence on their experience of puberty. Psychologist, Dr. Emily Hancock says that girls self-esteem peaks at the age of nine and sharply decreases as they enter puberty (New York Times on the Web). This was definitely true for me.

 I fulfilled the prophecy that many people in my social environs declared, making utterances like; “yuh daak ehh”and “you nuh have nuh use, yuh jus deh deh suh”. When I reflect on the impact low self esteem had on me, I am amazed how destructive the effects can be.  It gobbled up all my dreams, opportunities and will power. Research has shown key differences between individuals with high and low self-esteem. For example, people with high self-esteem focus on growth and improvement, while people with low self-esteem focus on avoiding mistakes in life. This sounds like something ‘motivational fanatics’ would say but it is factual: focusing on the positive triggers the workings of the law of attraction and brings good into your life.

 Further intensifying my dilemma was the lack of expectation for anything good to come out of the parish of St. Thomas. As I catapulted from a shy rural girl into an empowered social activist, I noticed the expressions of shock I received when I mentioned I was from the parish of St. Thomas. I must testify that it is often an uphill battle serving in my community but a joy to face the challenge. Watching several young ladies I grew up with in church losing their sanity, seeing the number teenage mothers increasing every year, making futile attempts at motivating the boys on the street corners smoking and wasting their lives, hearing gunshots in near radiuses and seeing young men I know personally die are all experiences I have had in my community. It would therefore be a fair insinuation if one thought it is hardly likely for anyone to excel and live in such an environment. Indeed, it is improbable but possible: here I am:

• From ‘little or no confidence’ to Valedictorian of My University Graduating Class…
• From ‘ A Little Bush Girl’ … to an empowered social entrepreneur, nominee for the Prime Minister Youth Award…
• From the back of Blacksmith Lane, Seaforth , St. Thomas… a Governor General ‘I Believe Initiative’ Ambassador …
• From low self esteem to public speaker…
• From being fearfulness to an empowered youth activist & catalyst in my community

My personal development journey began by forging a working relationship with my guidance counselor at St. Hugh’s High School during sixth form and subsequently taking life coaching sessions with Hopelyn International Network (with operates under Life Purpose Coaching International). I began to realize the extent of my potential and the meaning of my urges to address social issues.  Therefore, I pursued a life coaching course which was nicely complemented by my psychology degree. To complete my skills package I took on a minor in Business Administration. To continue my career journey, I want to pursue graduate studies in Policy Development.  Gen Zs are born in a time when the world seems scary, having grown up post 9/11, in the wake of the Great Recession and amid countless reports of school violence. Hence, the members of this generation and predecessors alive ought to develop creative thinking skills to construct meaningful solutions to problems in a rapidly changing environment. This sentiment is my rationale to choosing a policy development career.

Though I overcame my self-esteem issues and is now described by many as highly confident and motivated to lead change and take others with me on the journey; I still have several challenges. Challenges are inevitable and overcoming them stimulates unfathomable joy.  I suffer from a leaky pulmonary valve which causes excessive fatigue and sometimes chest pain but I remain indomitable. Financial problems are common among most of us, so l will not even linger to explain the intricacies of my money problems. Nor will I bother to unleash the multitude of other issues that often has me a minuscule step away from a mental breakdown or even insanity. These issues (solutes) are dissolved in the solvents called indomitability and positive thinking and a valiant Tishauna ‘Indomitable’ Mullings is the solution.

 The Great Commission in St. Matthew 28:19 states “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age”. This is a driving force for my work. The kingdom of God exists within me and that empowers me to give service whether in a church building, in a voluntary club or from a business framework. This service I intend to draw people to Christ eventually. The Gospel is beyond literal preaching. Rabindranath Tagore (1861-1941), a playwright and essayist once said, “I slept and dreamt that life was joy. I awoke and saw that life was service. I acted and behold, service was joy.” These sentiments embody my experience in giving service over seven (7) years now. With such an undying love for giving back to humanity, I knew I was destined to become a social entrepreneur; so, I created the future I wanted to see.

My organization, NexxStepp Personal Development Services and Inspirational Products operates as a learning and empowerment center offering mentorship services at a minimal cost as well as classes in reading, creative writing and grammar. Caribbean Examination Council (CXC) classes in varying subject areas and Grade Six Achievement Test (GSAT) study sessions are other services offered at an affordable rate. At NexxStepp, we believe everyone who has the will to learn, can learn and we make it fun.  In addition, we cater to the deaf population fostering the development of social, literacy and numeracy skills. The center operates as a safe haven where students can come after school to do homework, have study sessions and even socialize in a healthy manner.  We have several clients who visit our physical location weekly at Shop 3A, Wharf Road, St. Thomas as well as online clients. Virtual clients usually discover us through Facebook or a referral: (visit: www.facebook.com/nexxstep for details).  The staff comprises of five (5) dedicated life molders including a trained teacher, a literacy coach, a trained sign language instructor, life coach and an administrative assistant, all of whom have a passion for teaching and mentorship. We also give free school and community motivational sessions.

Having grown from one having a low self-esteem issue, I am on a mission to instill the attribute of self-confidence into every audience I speaks to and every student/client I work with. Through the Little Genius Competition, NexxStepp aims at engaging young minds in a meaningful discourse that will develop critical thinking skills at an early age. The training entails the development of high self –esteem, public speaking skills, critical thinking skills and talent. Next year, we will be launching an essay writing competition dubbed :”Brilliance through the Odds”. This is a writing competition for needy high school students (only) based on topical issues affecting the youth of today. This is geared at increasing critical thinking skills and demonstrating to youth that their opinions are valued while bridging a financial gap. We intended to continue extending our reach, thus broadening the scope and number of young people we have reached already. Those already impacted by NexxStepp includes:

• NexxStepp Learning Center’s over 70 (and counting) registered students.
• School audiences as large as 1000  students through exciting motivational sessions.
• NexxStepp’s  FaceBook page members: providing inspiration for over 650 followers.
• NexxStepp’s Little Genius Programme participants: reached 20 schools directly, worked with 40 students and 20 teachers doing intensive training in public speaking and critical thinking. (For the next production October 18, 2014 we will be inviting all 47 primary level schools in the parish of St. Thomas).
• The higher achievers club, restorative justice programme at Kendal All Age, Manchester– reaching a school population of over 350.

As long as there is life NexxStepp will not stop conceptualizing, coordinating or implementing youth work programmes. Some items on our agenda for the next 5 years include:

• A Powerful Young Men and Women of Jamaica Conference
• Brilliance Through The Odds Essay Competition
• Launching of the Success Nuggets Book: A collection of success recipes for young people
• A Mathematics Pageant
• Community Project Competition for Young Adults
• Extension of the Little Genius Competition into each county of Jamaica
• Setting up an office in Manchester

Young persons from deep rural Jamaica, inner-city communities and the disabled community are making strides and I recommend that you join the forward moving crowd. Through my life coaching practice, I assist young persons in making transitions from childhood into adulthood. In doing so, I often utilize anecdotes from my very own life to indicate to them that achievement is not dependent on having a ‘good life’ or rich, professional parents. As a matter of fact, it is usually borne out of multiple failures and daunting difficulties. There we all can be great and make a difference whatever our circumstance. It’s a decision!

It is a common practice to turn a blind eye to suffering existing around us. We pass homeless people sitting on the street all the time, we know of children being abused, we know culprits of crimes and say nothing. It is convenient, it is easy and it is familiar. Sometimes it is daunting to take a stand against the status quo. Channel your feeling of powerlessness into action. You have a voice; you have a community and it is likely that to have a passion. That is all you need to rally people and mobilize change. We are in the midst of an unprecedented time. It’s the era of social media. The potential for social good is far greater that it has ever been.  We have the power; we are the experts. However, power and expertise alone are nothing. Social activism is about helping causes; real people with families, dreams and stories. It is time to produce fresh innovative ideas and solutions to survive in this world filled with sickness, injustice and inopportunity. Every big idea begins with only one person. Open your eyes, reach into your heart. Believe in your power to make the world a better place.  Find something you feel passionate about and do something about it.

You have a voice, you live a community…do you have a passion? You may be a little late and feel like you should have started a longtime ago but no worries; the harvest is ripe and the labourers are still few, so that qualifies you as early. Let’s do this!

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