Is There A Way To Meet Single Men In Person?
Why not send former Kingston-resident Love Doctor your relationship queries? Use the form to submit your question(s).
Question:
I’ve been single since last summer, and just not meeting any potential suitors. How can I change that?
I won’t use dating apps as they seem to be hook-ups rather than romance. Work colleagues have set me up on blind dates, and they were all a disaster as such a mismatch.
I’m in my early 40s, attractive-looking, bubbly and trim. I’ve never had a long-term relationship but now fancy one as most of my friends and family are happily married.
Yendi, St. Catherine
Love Doctor’s Answer:
Romance can be complicated but spectacular when it runs smoothly. However, your motivation for seeking a loving relationship appears to be just so that you don’t miss out. That’s not really the point of love.
It sounds like you’ve been waiting in the wings as far as romance is concerned, but that has not brought you much luck and will continue to get you nowhere until you have the inclination to approach single men.
Maybe you’re a career-minded lady, and now ready to find a potential partner. Although you need to be unafraid to engage in conversation with single men, coming across too business-like will put them off.
Many people re-evaluate their romantic life through peer pressure, or because they hit a certain age when they discover that they want more out of life. You must learn to go forward by using both actions and words to get you out of the friend zone with any man you have romantic feelings for.
The first thing to consider is to absolutely know what you want rather than what you truly desire. You need to be clear about seeking a specific type of man to fulfil your romantic needs.
Once you have narrowed that down then I urge you to borrow a dog — from a friend or family member. As a man’s best friend is meant to be a dog (not quite up to diamonds being a girl’s best friend), then striking up a conversation with the aid of a furry friend can be an easy experience.
If you are seeking an educated and cultured man, then consider a change or update to your appearance to give you a new inner confidence, as well as attract the sort of man that you can envisage yourself to be romantically involved with.
This is simplistic as you can easily alter your hair, nails and choice of scent. If necessary, get to the gym to have the toned body you desire. To polish everything off do invest in some new accessories, clothes, footwear, jewellery and make-up. With this combination you’ll have a new spring in your step and be brimming with confidence as well as looking a knockout.
Showing confidence and introducing some romantic gestures should also considerably help you in your pursuit to find someone special.
Women can also enjoy the thrill of the chase by being romantic, by taking the lead. Once you have met a potential suitor and things are running smoothly, maybe invite him over for a candlelit dinner — but make it midweek so he won’t be expecting a stopover.
As mass media portrays aspirational sugar-coated romances, created solely for entertainment purposes, then learn from these to hunt down a man who could potentially turn out to be your lifelong partner. This improved version of you, who is so confident, will be happy to turn the tables by being the one who makes the first step towards a relationship.
If you want an easier life then such simple scenarios, like shopping and walking, offer you the chance to meet a suitable and single man. Confident ladies will continuously impress men, so feel free to approach those without a wedding ring, child or girlfriend in order to initiate conversation.
Supermarkets are ideal places to meet singletons. I suggest that you linger down where they sell ready meals, snack sections and alcohol aisles as these are where single people will shop. Make phone calls to friends while there if you need to play the waiting game for someone to catch your eye.
A wonderful trick is to deliberately put your hand out for the same product at the same time as the man you like. You may brush each other or get a smile out of him. This is your perfect opportunity to get the conversation started. Ask his advice about that product, particularly alcohol, to see whether he’s tried it before because you haven’t.
Finding a common interest can hook in a man, but don’t forget to subtly project your interest through body language as well.
On the subject of common interests, join some clubs or groups — even if it is just a one-day trial — to see if there are any suitable single men there. These are more than likely to have frequent social events, which is when you can chat with ease to those who you find attractive.
By making the effort to be proactive and actually doing something about it can pay dividends to kick-starting a new amorous relationship.
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