How Do I Get To Meet A More Cultured Man? – Help Me Love Doctor
Why not send former Kingston-resident Love Doctor your relationship queries? Use the form to submit your question(s).
Question:
I’ve experienced no real intimacy during the pandemic and actually enjoyed avoiding the usual car park dance nights and dancehalls.
My life values are different now with my taste in men having altered, as I want to meet a sophisticated man for a potential relationship.
I’m lower middle-class and in my early 30s. How do I meet a suitable man and avoid the bad boys?
Sharon, Kingston
Love Doctor’s Answer:
You are not alone in re-evaluating your romantic life during the Covid-19 pandemic, but the good news is that you know what you are seeking.
The majority of singletons tend to know what they don’t want rather than what they truly desire, so you are moving in the right direction.
My first piece of advice is to either change or update your appearance, which is relatively easy for females compared to men as you can easily alter your hair, nails and choice of scent. Then ladies often exercise to have the body they want, and finally, buy new accessories, clothes, footwear, jewellery and make-up.
Suave men seeking a sophisticated lady will be looking for certain tell-tale signs to judge them. These include accent, accessories, clothes, scent, shoes and watch.
Accent | Look at your use of language, do you resort to using patois more than the Queen’s English? Does your accent and choice of words reflect the real you? You will probably need to speak with more confidence and show that you are educated if you want to bag a sophisticated man.
Accessories | If you wish to dazzle then it is also worth ensuring that your accessories are upmarket rather than downmarket. Although my advice is to never buy branded products just to impress, buy what you like and suits you. I would encourage you to opt for classics when you next purchase such products as a bag, belt, handbag, hat, scarf, sunglasses etc.
Clothes | Clothes make a statement, so aim for chic and elegant rather than brash and bold. Dress your age or slightly older but other than on the beach do not reveal too much flesh, because that will attract attention from the wrong sort of men.
Scent | A new perfume is a terrific way to mark the start of your new phase, so aim for a sexy and seductive scent that smells fresh. I would suggest Yves Saint Laurent Libre Eau de Parfum for nights out, but a cleaner and lighter scent for the office.
Once you piece together all of these to produce a sophisticated appearance, and genuinely feel comfortable, then it is time to put this new look and feel to the test. I recommend putting on a punchy shade of lipstick as your Caribbean flair shines like a beacon.
Kingston, when it reaches a semblance of normality, will be back buzzing with activity and events. You could meet potential suitors organically in the capital, or even invite some friends/colleagues and ask them to bring along any single men.
For example you could take a boat ride from Port Royal to Lime Cay to explore the secluded beaches to go for a swim and/or snorkel, sign up for hiking in the Blue Mountains or maybe visit the less energetic National Gallery art museum.
If you prefer not to venture out too much then the majestic Jamaica Pegasus Hotel in New Kingston is a perfect start. Choose from the private jogging trail, a swim in or cocktails around the Olympic-sized swimming pool, a game of tennis or the White Orchid Salon and Spa. If you meet a man then you can always try out the Blue Window restaurant.
As dancehalls and car-park dance nights are out of the question for you, and most unlikely to attract the type of man you are seeking, then I recommend that you should go upmarket at the weekend. Why not visit Party at Club Privilege, the regular hang-out spot for celebrities visiting Jamaica?
The pulse of the island’s beating heart is its music, and no other nation is as defined by their music as Jamaica from dancehall to reggae, rocksteady and ska.
If you can persuade some of your single galpals to be adventurous and escape your regular haunts in Kingston, once it is safe to do so, then Ocho Rios and Port Antonio are close enough and you could meet some single sophisticated men.
Ocho Rios | James Street is known locally as the “Reggae Strip”, with live reggae artists and DJs spinning reggae beats. Pick a classy venue with a relaxed vibe. My advice is to take a sip of rum and get ready to dance through the small hours of the night, Mr Right just may be there for you.
Port Antonio | The first town on the island to attract tourists because of the emergence of the banana industry was home to the legendary Hollywood actor Errol Flynn, with his superstar friends visiting. Personally I find this resort to be paradise, especially as it is home to jerk chicken. You can swim in the Blue Lagoon or raft the Rio Grande. Generally, the class of men there will be superior to those at the more commercial resorts.
If you follow my advice then you will be equipped with the look, style and confidence to meet men once the social distancing rules are relaxed.
You know where to meet these chaps, apart from church and elite clubs, so I recommend adding some flirty chat-up lines and hanging around with some single galpals once it is suitable to mingle.
The right type of man will soon find you, as long as you don’t act desperate. Have fun and don’t be in a hurry to find romance, embrace your new look and persona so that you love yourself and shortly after a good man will love you too.
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