Should I Be Worrying About Bedroom Compatibility?
If you fancy sending your romantic relationship dilemma to former Kingston resident Love Doctor Monti, author of Journey To Find The Perfect Partner Forever, submit your question via our form.
Alternatively send a direct email to [email protected] or via WhatsApp to +385 97 655 8066.
Question:
I’ve been dating for more than three months but am getting anxious. My pals have been teasing me about my latest flame, because she’s a single mother and how things may turn out in the bedroom.
I’m in my thirties and until this banter had never thought about the difference ‘downstairs’ between women having a child and being motherless.
We’ve taken things slowly and have yet to discuss intimacy. Now I’m seriously concerned that we won’t be compatible in this department. Any advice would be greatly welcomed.
L, St. Andrews Parish
Love Doctor’s Answer:
To a certain extent your friends are spot on about your potential physical relationship, and how your previous experiences could be different with someone who has given birth without having a Caesarean.
My first piece of advice is to discreetly find out whether your lady has experienced the C-section, because if she has there are no concerns whatsoever. There is frequently a looseness ‘downstairs’ following childbirth, which sadly accounts for the break-up of some romantic relationships once there are three people – a baby – rather than two in the equation.
SELFISH MEN
Frankly men who leave their girlfriend or wife because the sexual experience has altered after giving birth were never the right life partners. This act of walking away is purely for selfish reasons, these kind of men are sadly unworthy of the love and devotion that their partner has shown by choosing to become a mother.
You cannot predetermine what will happen between the sheets in any relationship, but for you so much depends on how important your sexual life is with this latest love interest.
It appears to be me that you respect this lady by not rushing into bedroom antics, which is commendable. Therefore it seems that sexual relations are not top priority over loving her affectionately and romantically.
Only when the time comes to jump into bed and bond your love through intimacy can you determine your sexual compatibility.
The fact of the matter is that sexual compatibility relies on a plethora of reasons, not solely on whether the lady has previously given birth. My advice is to not pay too much attention to any of these comments from your friends or let their words worry you.
KEEP FOCUSED
When you are both ready to commit to this cementing this loving relationship, then getting physical will naturally follow. You should have no problem in the bedroom, unless you allow your mind to wander.
This lady is someone that you have been romancing for a few months, so you must have some strong feelings towards her.
There’s no need to get rash and give your girlfriend the heave-ho just because friends are stating a valid fact. Okay, they have not gone about alerting you of the potential differences ‘downstairs’ in a gentlemanly manner, but they obviously have your best interests at heart to even mention this.
Maybe they don’t want to see you get emotionally hurt and are looking out for you, but resorted to blokes banter to make light of their deep concerns.
WORRYING WORDS
My advice is to continue with your loving relationship and not let words unsettle you. When it comes to getting physical you are at least mentally prepared for it to not be potentially the usual experience you are accustomed to. However, any looseness should ultimately lead to a longer time in the bedroom for your intimate moments.
If the beautiful act of lovemaking runs smoothly, then your trepidation and fears will be put to rest. This means you can continue your relationship without any worries or problems in the bedroom.
On the other hand, should you not find things fully satisfactory in the bedroom then this should not a reason to break up. The first time between couples can be nerve-wracking, so another lovemaking session should be embarked on before you can openly discussion the scenario.
WEDDING WOES
I’ve personally known of childless mothers who waited until their wedding day before getting physical, which turned out to be such a disappointment that they got divorced within a year.
Being sexually incompatible is not always down to having borne children, on the contrary it is usually down to the man having viewed too many adult video clips and is therefore expecting his love interest to behave in the same manner. There’s a massive difference between sex and lovemaking, with mutual respect applying to the latter.
If there is a problem in the bedroom you can always openly discuss this with your girlfriend, as she will wanting to please you if she loves you as much as you wish to satisfy her. If it is a meaningful relationship, you’ll soon be able to come up with an amicable solution.
EXERCISES HELP
There are pelvic exercises she could try if necessary, but until there’s an issue you really don’t need to worry about a what if scenario.
On the other hand, if you are not particularly well endowed then there could be a problem for both of you.
You are in the early throes of your romance, so continue to let things develop slowly and see how serious you are about each other. She could turn out to be that seemingly perfect partner you have seeking all your life.
Remember to share this article on Facebook and other Social Media Platforms. To submit your own articles or to advertise with us please send us an EMAIL at: [email protected]