How Should I Respond To A Gift From My Ex?
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Question:
Out of the blue I received a thoughtful gift in the post for New Year’s Day from my ex-boyfriend, which included just his name and his new WhatsApp number. We did always exchange New Year gifts.
After we split up just after Valentine’s Day, we were not in touch. I’ve not dated anyone else, and to be frank it was a lonely Christmas.
I’m wondering how I should react to this act of kindness, because I caused our bad split?
A, Clarendon Parish
Love Doctor’s Answer:
As he has pleasantly surprised you, despite you causing the break-up, being given a second shot is something that you two should definitely contemplate.
A considerate man is an excellent commodity, which makes him a good catch. His gift was out of kindness, but I strongly suspect that it was also an olive branch to reach out to see if you could be amendable to rekindling your romantic relationship.
This is the season to be jolly, when the media sugarcoats couples being in love and super happy. He could have been egged on by this, and decided that you were the one. Yet he was properly fearful of calling you in case you rejected him again.
His gift was a more subtle way to grab your attention, and he will surely be hoping in his heart of hearts that you at least thank him. This obviously is a perfect chance to open up the channels of communication, and he is likely to suggest meeting up.
TIME FOR SOUL SEARCHING
You must also consider the fact that as the spilt was caused by you, he may simply be a true gentleman and after closure. He has sent you his new WhatsApp number, which I would imagine is because you probably blocked him, but his message conveys that he wishes to hear from you.
My suggestion is to dig deep as to why your romance ended. Be realistic about whether it was a mistake by you to close it down and avoid each other.
If you are happy that you went your separate ways, then you need only send a courteous message thanking him for his gift that you love and wishing him all the very best for 2026.
Should you discover that you behaved badly and regret your break-up, this is an ideal opportunity to potentially resurrect your relationship. Although don’t let your lonely festive season be the reason for trying to get back together, if he is willing to forget about the split.
TAKE THE BULL BY THE HORNS
In which case, you should thank him for the present and suggest meeting face-to-face. At least you won’t be wearing rose-tinted glasses about him, because you were dismissive about your former boyfriend and would not have considered a rendezvous unless he had unexpectedly made contact.
He has shown you the utmost respect by sending you this gift. By solely adding his name and new number, he has not pushed you into meeting up.
The ball is now firmly in your court. With some soul searching only you can decide if you would like to try and repair the damage caused to kickstart a new chapter between you.
Should you decide to meet, you can obviously discuss some of those good times you shared. Yet the focus must be about rebuilding mutual trust and respect.
MIRROR HIS GENEROSITY
As this man has given you a thoughtful gift, I would urge you to take him a present when you rendezvous. Ideally an aftershave like Calvin Klein’s Obsession, as the citrus aroma will help awaken your sexual senses if he starts wears it when you are dating.
As you have admitted that your split was bad, you need to apologise in person and then focus on the future. You have not been apart that long, so your aspirations and dreams should remain the same.
However, you both need to tread with some trepidation as you gradually learn to love each other affectionately and romantically. There needs to be mutual commitment the second time round, if you truly wish to build a long-lasting and meaningful relationship.
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