How Do I End My Flawed Romance?
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Question:
I’ve had enough of my 14-month relationship because I’ve never been in love with my girlfriend. Despite this, I’ve never looked at another woman during our romance.
Over Christmas she was pushing me for some form of commitment. She even suggested a vacation to another Caribbean island for Valentine’s Day.
I don’t want to bin her in a heavy-handed way. What’s a solution to help end her interest in me without dumping her?
P, Kingston
Love Doctor’s Answer:
It is often doomed from the start when one person is clearly much more emotionally attached than their partner in a romantic relationship.
You’ve got past the all-important 12-month stage when the rose-tinted glasses would have slipped off, and you both now see each other’s flaws. So this hasn’t been a fleeting infatuation for you two.
A meaningful partnership requires for both parties to have aligned inspirations and goals on top of mutual commitment, interests, respect and trust.
You are missing some vital ingredients from this relationship, by not being in love with this lady as well as lacking the commitment she both yearns and deserves.
I urge you to do some soul searching. Try and work out why you were never in love with this lady, which if she found out would no doubt be devastating news for her.
Maybe you have never ever been deeply in love, so cannot comprehend the difference between love and being in love. Love is a beautiful journey, which takes time to evolve.
As you state that you have been loyal in this relationship, you’re showing a telltale sign of being in love by focusing your energy and time on your lady.
Another indication of being in love is the fact that you wish to avoid a conflict by prioritizing her feeling over yours, which also shows a form of commitment by you.
On the subject of journeys, do consider her suggestion for a vacation even if it is not going away for Valentine’s Day when there’s the pressure to be super romantic.
Kingston offers a plethora of romantic places for couples to savour Valentine’s Day. There’s also some fabulous all inclusive hotels dotted across the island to suit all budgets, if that’s preferable to flying.
A vacation could actually work wonders to suddenly make you fully appreciate what she offers as a long-term partner, and strengthen your loving relationship.
Frequently couples only understand how good their relationship was after they have split up. Parting of the ways triggers the fact that they were simply being over ambitious by wanting perfection and can hit home like a hurricane.
If you make each other happy, and you can inject commitment into your relationship, then it could become smooth sailing ahead in your romantic journey.
It sounds like you are a sensitive soul by seeking an escape route from this romance without devastating her by abruptly ending things.
Before you follow my guaranteed tip to gradually get rid of your love interest, I suggest you work out whether you have suddenly felt trapped by her wanting you to show more commitment. This could be the real reason why you wish to end your relationship after being 14 months together.
If you wish to cautiously let her down, slowly but surely, you must systematically bring up the names of a couple of former girlfriends that she’s aware of.
You’ll need to intentionally throw up their names by suddenly referring to a bar, drink, an item of clothing, a tv programme etc being the absolute favourite of your former squeeze.
You can also tell your girlfriend some antidotes about something amusing, but ensure that it was an experience that you shared with one of these exes.
Chipping away with frequent mentions of former love interests will get under her skin, making her heart bruised and tender over time.
As ladies generally call the shots when it comes to romantic relationships, which makes it a minefield for men, she is likely to pull you up about mentioning exes.
Even though you assure her that it won’t happen again, you have to be a little devil and keep up this charade if you truly wish to hit breaking point for her to eventually dump you.
Before you initiate this tip, dig deep to truly explore in your heart of hearts how precious this lady is before you throw away everything you have built up over 14 months.
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