Is There A Way To Dress For Success?
If you fancy sending your romantic relationship dilemma to former Kingston resident Love Doctor Monti, author of Journey To Find The Perfect Partner Forever, submit your question via our form.
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Question:
For this entire year I’ve been a total flop when it comes to dating. I’ve asked a couple of close pals about this, they told me that it’s my choice of clothing.
I always wear my favourite T-shirt, jogger pants, Nike trainers and some hyper-masculine bling for dates.
Dating is getting frustrating. I land dates, but I never get as far as a second date. Sometimes the woman says she is off to the toilet but she vanishes! What can be done to improve my chances?
R, Kingston
Love Doctor’s Answer:
Your casual attire may not be the problem. It is all about the whole package that you portray on your date. Your dates are judging you within the first 20 seconds, and that means you must make a good visual impression.
You may require a makeover to reflect the true you on the outside. Your clothing makes a statement about you, and there’s lots to consider when picking out what to wear for an important first date apart from your sportswear.
We all need to dress appropriately for each occasion, whether it is a job interview, a gym visit, a wedding or a date.
My first piece of advice is to take a good look at your current appearance and how you project yourself. Are you happy with what you see? How could you improve your look?
Concentrate on a hairstyle (and maybe facial hair) that portrays your age and is in vogue. Best to change the barber for a new look. You will feel better in yourself with a different hairstyle, and can expect to receive positive comments from family and friends to lift your confidence.
UPGRADE INVESTMENT
Taking pride in yourself also means that the cosmetics that you use need an upgrade. You might have to invest in better products like a body spray, deodorant, razor, shaving gel, shower gel etc for improved male maintenance.
Women always find the scent of a man attractive. I urge you to splash the cash on a good quality eau de parfum. I suggest an intense scent with masculine base scents, such as cedarwood and a woody aromatic.
Follow this up by quizzing family and friends about what two items of clothing/footwear would they scrap on you, and what would they replace these with. As they know you best, they should be able to offer an honest opinion and present you with some simplistic ideas.
Although you want to feel comfortable on a date, you do need to appear as though you have made some effort. There’s no need to wear a formal suit, but on the other hand sportswear, trainers and jeans are a real no-no.
CELEBRITY FASHIONS
If you have any particular celebrities that you consider stylish, you can use the internet to search for their photos and see what catches your eye on them.
Their outfits are going to be outrageously expensive, so you are looking at colours and cuts as well as how whole outfits gel rather than considering the same designer labels.
A date generally doesn’t require a suit, but that depends upon where you are going. The traditional suit is best left for the office, weddings and funerals. Otherwise you can look as though you’ve just dashed from work, and could easily intimidate her as though it’s a job interview as questions will be fired on a first date.
It’s usually best to take it up a notch formality-wise rather than veer towards super casual. As long as your outfit is understated and not an in-yer-face look.
BIG WATCH
You can always opt for a linen suit with a smart (not sporty) T-shirt or shirt. A smart casual look is what you are trying to achieve, ideally with a big watch and a bit of bling to complete the outfit. Large watches generally will garner attention from ladies on a date.
Whatever you decide to wear needs to offer you the feelgood factor. Women tend to find a man buzzing with confidence and charm most attractive.
A good fitting jacket on a man oozes sex appeal for ladies. It is the equivalent of your date turning up in a bikini, which would excite you because of the amount of flesh on display. You only need to initially greet your date in a jacket, and can then take it off until it’s time to say goodbye.
A neutral coloured knitted polo shirt or a long-sleeved shirt would be ideal underneath. Dark complexions favour brown, green and yellow. Although shades of black, grey, navy and white could be worn. Cooler undertones are more suited to blue, burgundy and red.
OUTFIT OPTIONS
Knitted polo shirts are very fashionable, more so than polo shirts with big name branding splashed over the clothing, and a versatile item to own.
A smart casual plain shirt, more relaxed than a dress shirt, would be a massive upgrade over your usual T-shirt.
When it comes to a third date or beyond, you can always wear a white T-shirt with a crew neck or V-neck jumper. The outfit can complete your look with a smart casual jacket.
From the waist down, despite likely to prove invisible when you sit opposite each other, can be the make-or-break for you.
A good woman will always notice a man’s choice of footwear, so opt for practical yet stylish with a clean look. Loafers or shoes smarten up outfits, and the only acceptable trainers are leather trainers that look like trendy shoes.
Jeans, even a pair of classic straight ones, are off limits like sportswear. Chinos are your best bet, with trousers a slight second. An expensive-looking finish is usually determined by stiff or thick fabric.
You have to particularly ensure nothing clashes with your choice of trousers and footwear in terms of colours. Also avoid appearing like a walking advert for designer brands.
ADD PERSONALITY
Accessories can play a vital role in making you feel confident as well as attracting attention. Stick to simple and subtle to elevate your outfit. Most ladies will notice these and the brand. Never aim for cheap nor fake accessories, just buy what you can afford.
You really require at least two of the following: bag, backpack, belt, cap, hat, keyring, sunglasses, wallet and watch. Maybe also sport the following: bracelet, earring, necklace, ring and scarf.
My advice is to only purchase accessories, clothing and footwear that makes you feel good and that you really like. Don’t just buy things because they were on sale.
When you meet any potential partners they will wish to know all about you. If you can show that you care about your appearance then you’ll soon discover that women on dates will be amenable.
SCENTING SUCCESS
You’ll be pleasantly surprised how differently people will react to you in new attire with accessories that complement your outfits plus a subtle masculine scent.
Ensure that your scent is too overpowering and that it’s unlikely you out bling your date.
You should ideally follow my tips on how to prepare for a blind date, before the more tricky scenario of listening 70% to a lady on a date in order to make her feel valued.
Now you know how to look the business and find your feelgood factor, you can approach a first date with optimism and confidence.
My techniques for securing a second date can surely help you simply achieve something that seems to elude you.
For dates it is about finding a happy medium of dressing appropriately for the occasion and location, as well as feeling completely comfortable so you are relaxed and can enjoy the moment.
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